Howzzat

The walls have ears. I’ve been advised to talk in acronyms so that they don’t find out what I’m up to. I know what THEY’RE up to, BTW. This JKT thingy, OMG! Don’t I know who’s given him the GA! It certainly wasn’t the CIA. No, it was No 1 himself, at our very own DOD. That’s why I told SMQ, you’ve suffered from FOMA all this time. Now go for it, YOLO. “OFC”, he said, “I’ll launch such an ICBM that you’ll be awestruck, they’ll be MIA or DOA and you’ll say WTF!” SMQ was true to his word. It was like a POW had been set free! Yes, yes. I know you’re probably ROFL thinking about what followed. But I promise you, this is just a preview. FYI, wait till the Budget’s done. Then I’ll turn the screws. Then JKT’s crew will come crying to me. DIY, I’ll tell them and FO.

The third anniversary of my government is coming soon and I’m calling an AGM of all the shareholders of this PVT LTD Co. that is The Hybrid Regime. I’ve told the BOD already that I’m preparing a container to ride on. On it, there’s going to be a PTI flag, a giant portrait of me (PMIK), DGISI, SMQ, LMC, SMKTH, BBC, CNN, LBW and most importantly our rising GDP and stunning successes in PIA, PSM, CAA, SNGPL and CCTV. Not on my truck will be PMLN, MNS, BBZ, HRCP, PPP, ANP, JWP, JW Marriott, JP Morgan, MK Gandhi, MA Jinnah and most importantly, COAS. In the truck there’ll be my weekly supply of peanuts and bananas which I’ll eat on my perch, throwing the skins down to the teeming masses. The press accompanying us will bring their own picnic lunches consisting of Beghairat Burgers, Shararti Sandwiches, Nasty Naans and Kameenay Kababs.

I was printing out this POA, when PS to PM suggested we get a HGV for the container and if we can’t afford it, in the absence of JKT, do a HP arrangement. “Have you done all the homework, PM?” he asked. NOYB, I said, and anyway homework is for women.

Im the Dim