Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Vah, vah! It is raining and highly unIslamic weather in bloved Lahore. Enjoy, meray aziz humwatno, while you can. Because slowly but inexhorribly, we are moving towards another to attempt to topple my gormint. This time it is this Panama drama. I damn care. As far as I’m concerned, it can be Pajama drama. Hmmph!

The whole family is feeling the prassure. Your bhabi said, if we’d been living in a normal country, we could’ve gone out to dinner to get our minds off politics. But sadly, we had dinner off a TV tray in the PM’s House. I began to doze in my favourite easy chair. Soon, I was in London and in a nice Chinese restaurant with your bhabi. I am ordering and soon a duck is coming to me and saying, “how you are sweetie pie?” and I am shouting at waiter and saying I ordered AROMATIC duck, not a romantic duck. Honestly, people are living in their own worlds and not listening to anyone or anything. Look at your bhabi even, who is also chess player. The tablecloth was a check and it took her twenty minutes to pass the salt.

We were waiting for our food to arrive when Shah Mahmood Qureshi also came to restaurant. We met very nicely and politely. Then I wrote on napkin and slipped it into his pocket. I wrote: “Please send me your email address”. He wrote something on his napkin and sent it to me via waiter: “My email address is I’MinPTI_don’tTALKtomeINpublic@vicepresidentpti.com.

Just then, I was woken up from my nice dozing by phoon call from driver of my newest car, BMW 7 series. “Salaam Mian Saab”, he spoke urgently. “I was dozing and having lovely dinner in a London Chinese restaurant” I said, “and you’ve interrupted my beautiful dream. Tell me quickly, what is it?” Driver said he had some good news and some bad news. I said, “I don’t have time for bad news. Give me the good news. Quickly”. He said, “the good news is that the air bags of your BMW 7 series work beautifully”. Then he slammed phoon. What is meaning, hain ji?

 

NS