Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

School guard had fake gun 


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According to Express (January 13, 2015) as schools reopened with new security regulations in place, one private school in Karachi tricked the administration (mamu bana diya) and fooled the parents (aankhon main mitti jhonk di) with its security guard carrying a fake gun.

Donkey hide!


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Reported in Jang (January 13, 2015) unidentified men killed the donkeys of five landlords in a village near Lahore and ran away with their hides. They threw the rest of the carcasses in nearby fields.

Pakistani website ran fake Aamir Khan interview 


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Express reports (January 14, 2015) Aamir Khan has sent a legal notice to a Pakistani website for publishing a fake interview with him on the subject of religion in the context of his new film PK. His legal adviser said he had not given any such interview.

Reham Khan has deleted her Facebook account


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Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt (January 14, 2015) Imran Khan’s wife Reham Khan has said she does not have a Facebook account any longer. She had deleted her account because she was upset (dilbardashta) over reports of her marriage on the social media. She had 89,700 followers on Facebook.

Seventh grader arrested for school bomb threat 


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Reported in Jang (January 15, 2015), a grade-seven student was arrested along with two of his friends for threatening to blow his school up in a phone call to the anti-terrorism hotline 1135.

Cricketers, controversy and social media 


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According to Nawa-e-Waqt (January 15, 2015) the cricket board is considering a ban on the use of social media for Pakistani cricketers to keep them away from controversy during the world cup.

Abid Sher Ali’s compliment angers Shazia Marri


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Dunya reports (January 16, 2015) praising Shazia Marri’s beauty during the question hour at the National Assembly proved costly (mehnga parr gya) for Minister for State for Water and Power Abid Sher Ali. She became angry (bharrak utheen) and asked him to focus on her question about Karachi Electric Company and NEPRA.

PIA passenger’s jewelry stolen on the way


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Jewelry worth Rs 1 million was stolen from the luggage of a PIA passenger traveling from Islamabad to Birmingham, reports Nai Baat (January 16, 2015). Airport authorities in Birmingham said her suitcases were booked from Islamabad with their locks already broken.

Hindu extremists threatening Maira Khan 


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According to Express (January 17, 2015) Pakistani actress Maira Khan is facing threats from Hindu extremist groups in India. They say they will not let a Pakistani girl work with Indian superstar Shahrukh Khan.

Big, scary rats in parliament lodges 


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Reported in Nai Baat (January 17, 2015), parliamentarians couldn’t withhold their anger (phat parray) during the National Assembly session at the rat infestation (choohon ki bharmaar) in the Parliament Lodges. A parliamentary secretary said they were so large and frightening (bhayanak) that we are scared of them.

Out of fuel, lawyer buys bicycle to go to work


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Dunya reports (January 18, 2015) fed up of the shortage of fuel, a lawyer in Lahore bought a new bicycle to go to court. He said people should ride bicycles to stay healthy and save money.

Telephone officials caught selling stolen cable


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Reported in Jang (January 18, 2015) two PTCL officials were arrested red-handed in Lahore selling telephone cable that they had stolen from the government. Cable and other stolen equipment worth hundreds of thousands of rupees were seized.