Such Gup

Such Gup

Moles everywhere

As you know, dear reader, we have moles everywhere. So, our mole in Scotland Yard reports that the Quaid-e-Qiwam has posted a £450,000 bail bond, with his house attached. He’s only allowed out between 8 am and 5 pm, according to our mole, and all his bank accounts have been frozen. He’s able to withdraw £ 350 per week for himself and £ 250 for his daughter’s expenses. Ironically, the judge in the Quaid’s money laundering case comes to court on a bicycle, emphasising the supremacy of law and justice. We hear Scotland Yard has asked for the two Dr Imran Farooq murder suspects, currently in the ISI’s custody in Pakistan, to be handed over. Our side is hesitant we hear, but has allowed a DNA test to be conducted on the suspects, which if positive might enable Scotland Yard to seek extradition of the suspects.

Down the drain again

Rumour has it that every time there’s a possibility of Mush being let off the hook, his khaki partisans make sure there’s an aircraft on the ready for him. So, once again, around the latest hearing in the Sindh High Court, our mole spotted a chartered jet in a secure Karachi area, ready and waiting to fly its cargo to eternal exile. It returned to sender empty once more, with $ 40 grand in rental cost down the drain again.

Tragic loss

It will be a tragic loss to our ailing national carrier if the priceless Roosevelt building in NYC is “landmarked” before it’s sold by its owner, Pakistan’s Incoma Airline. Having refused an offer of $ 1.2 b, and ownership of four floors for official use, we’re sitting there twiddling our thumbs waiting for the inevitable to happen.