This has been a week from hell. The Kashmir saga continues. It’s not my fault that everyone was raised on the slogan: “Kashmir banay ga Pakistan”. So ok, Kashmir ban gaya Hindustan, aur dekhta reh gaya Pakistan. So what? We have achieved a remarkable victory because we have succeeded in making Hindustan just like Pakistan with a fascist leadership, abuse of human rights, clampdown on press, oppression of minorities and all our other virtues.
Secondly, the economy is slumping and I’m beginning to fear that as an unskilled worker, I may well lose my job. I have barely been able to cling to my job for the last year and a further downturn in the economy may result in my unemployment. As Asad Umar, world-renowned economist recently confirmed to me, “it is possible for an unemployable person like you to hold down a job for which you are woefully unqualified when the going is good but when everything is tanking, I’m afraid the outlook for you is dismal. You are running a serious risk of termination from this job”. So, I asked him what I should do before my employer starts questioning the merits of his decision in giving me this job. He said, “I’m afraid I can’t help you there but I do have some good news for you. You love your leisure activities, and you currently have only from 5 pm to dawn for these on a daily basis. When you are relieved of this arduous job, you will have 24 hours a day for leisure. Isn’t that wonderful?”
The third bit of bad news is that President Trump has called off the Afghan peace deal which was supposed to give us lots of goodies. He’s turned out to be even more of a U-Turner than me. Even John Bolton has resigned, making me think that I should too with the following tweet: “After wrestling with my nonexistent conscience for a long time, I have come to the conclusion that any further association with President Trump will be harmful for me so I am herewith resigning from the post of ‘Who’s That Guy in Pak-stan Who Shook Hyands With Me In July?’”
Secondly, the economy is slumping and I’m beginning to fear that as an unskilled worker, I may well lose my job. I have barely been able to cling to my job for the last year and a further downturn in the economy may result in my unemployment. As Asad Umar, world-renowned economist recently confirmed to me, “it is possible for an unemployable person like you to hold down a job for which you are woefully unqualified when the going is good but when everything is tanking, I’m afraid the outlook for you is dismal. You are running a serious risk of termination from this job”. So, I asked him what I should do before my employer starts questioning the merits of his decision in giving me this job. He said, “I’m afraid I can’t help you there but I do have some good news for you. You love your leisure activities, and you currently have only from 5 pm to dawn for these on a daily basis. When you are relieved of this arduous job, you will have 24 hours a day for leisure. Isn’t that wonderful?”
The third bit of bad news is that President Trump has called off the Afghan peace deal which was supposed to give us lots of goodies. He’s turned out to be even more of a U-Turner than me. Even John Bolton has resigned, making me think that I should too with the following tweet: “After wrestling with my nonexistent conscience for a long time, I have come to the conclusion that any further association with President Trump will be harmful for me so I am herewith resigning from the post of ‘Who’s That Guy in Pak-stan Who Shook Hyands With Me In July?’”
Im the Dim