Someone asked me what’s easier: opposition or government. Government, you pea brain, I replied! I mean, what a question! I did opposition all on my own, raving and ranting for years, tilting at windmills, and was at the end of my tether when they made up their minds to get rid of Nawaz Sharif. His cardinal sin was that he actually thought he was Prime Minister! Can you believe it?
Why should anyone in their right mind want the power of prime minister-ship and no time for er … leisure when you can have the office and carry on partying with Zulfi etc?
Government is a piece of cake. The IMF has taken over the Finance Ministry, the State Bank and the FBR. They’ve taken over the Interior Ministry, Defence and the Foreign Office. They’ve appointed administrators in Isloo and Lahore. And that’s that! What a load off my cerebral vortex.
Now all that remains to be done is to stick the entire opposition in jail. Talking of sticks, government has one big drawback. Having to stick it out in Isloo in June and July. I can only dream of London and Ascot and Prince Charles’ garden parties and Lady Annabel’s Open House at Ormeley Lodge and Isabel Goldsmith’s fabulous birthday parties. Sigh. The last Isabel party I went to was back in the day but she was already very old by then. She was 39. I remember Jimmy giving her a 22 calorie diamond.
Which reminds me, Maulana Fazlurrahman is threatening to start a movement against me. I know all the tired old slogans he’s going to use. I’m neither sadiq nor amin, I’m hiding some of my descendants, I’m connected to the Jewish lobby blah blah blah. How many times do I have to tell them that the Goldsmiths are not Jewish, they’re atheist. I don’t know what that is but apparently it’s better than being Jewish.
Why should anyone in their right mind want the power of prime minister-ship and no time for er … leisure when you can have the office and carry on partying with Zulfi etc?
Government is a piece of cake. The IMF has taken over the Finance Ministry, the State Bank and the FBR. They’ve taken over the Interior Ministry, Defence and the Foreign Office. They’ve appointed administrators in Isloo and Lahore. And that’s that! What a load off my cerebral vortex.
Now all that remains to be done is to stick the entire opposition in jail. Talking of sticks, government has one big drawback. Having to stick it out in Isloo in June and July. I can only dream of London and Ascot and Prince Charles’ garden parties and Lady Annabel’s Open House at Ormeley Lodge and Isabel Goldsmith’s fabulous birthday parties. Sigh. The last Isabel party I went to was back in the day but she was already very old by then. She was 39. I remember Jimmy giving her a 22 calorie diamond.
Which reminds me, Maulana Fazlurrahman is threatening to start a movement against me. I know all the tired old slogans he’s going to use. I’m neither sadiq nor amin, I’m hiding some of my descendants, I’m connected to the Jewish lobby blah blah blah. How many times do I have to tell them that the Goldsmiths are not Jewish, they’re atheist. I don’t know what that is but apparently it’s better than being Jewish.
Im the Dim