Howzzat?!

I think an Evil Eye has been cast on my government. Which is why I lost the cantonment elections, which is why inflation is rising, which is why the rupee is tanking, which is why Biden isn’t calling, etc. etc. I consulted my better half who consulted the djinns who advised that we call in a qualified witchdoctor with his reference. Which we did. The witchdoctor began with high-pitched shrieking laughter, and various incantations. Then began chanting: “A curse on The Great Khan’s detractors, may they stew in a huge bronze cauldron of boiling water with salt and chilies. May we hear their cries from all over Pakistan right the way up to bucolic Bunny Gala. May The Curse be upon them”. More High-Pitched Shrieking Laughter. Loud Salutations and Flamboyant Chants. “O Great One! Hear the Lamentations of The Wronged. Enable The Great Khan’s matchless and superb government to complete its term and get another one, and another one and... AAAAAA…!!”

The witchdoctor then stopped, looking confused. I said, “why are you looking confused?” He said, “I just lost my train of thought”. “Don’t worry”, I said, “It’s happened to me too. My train of thought left for Rawalpindi long ago, and I’ve clearly missed it”. Just then, the witchdoctor had a flash of inspiration. “Wait! Wait,” he shouted, “I’m getting some messages from the Twilight Zone…”

TO PREVENT ECONOMIC MELTDOWN AND BACKBREAKING INFLATION, IMMEDIATELY BAN BANK INTEREST. OR AT LEAST, DON’T CALL IT INTEREST. CALL IT “MODARABA” OR “MARHABA” OR “MAHARAJA” OR EVEN “MARBELLA” BUT NOT INTEREST.

TO PREVENT AMERICA SANCTIONING PAKISTAN ON YOUR WATCH, IMMEDIATELY TAKE OFF THAT DIAMOND ENCRUSTED ROLEX AND GIVE IT TO THIS WITCHDOCTOR.

Having done both of the above, I felt relieved and began to attend to the bickering in my Party. As you know, we are true believers in the Two Party System and proof of that is that there at least Two Parties at any given time in the PTI.

And now I must leave it here because this discussion is too pointless, even for me.

Im the Dim