As you know, Pakistan is in dire straits. I’ve sent a letter to General QJB, ahead of the elections. “Dear General, you’re a very nice man and you should listen to the voice of Her Holiness who’s never wrong in her predictions, especially ones that are pre-destined. Pakistan needs a man with vision. A man from Bunny Gala with a thinning mane of dark hair. A man with a well-toned body honed to perfection at Shapes and at the private gym in Bunny Gala. A man who won the World Cup. I’m naming no names because I don’t want to influence your decision. But now that Nawaz has been caught and bowled, I would like to answer your question about how I plan to prevent the crash. Well, I can guarantee that there will be no crashes because in my system, the pilot will push a button in the cockpit and the aircraft’s wing will automatically dismantle, taking the blazing engine and the fuel tank with it. Then another wing will automatically appear, turning the plane into a gliding aircraft. A big red balloon will appear at the back of the plane to reduce speed. So we can have a safe landing. Furthermore, in order to make up with the US, I propose that we should name our new ballistic missiles after American invaders (instead of Islamic ones like Ghauri) ‘George Bush’ and ‘George W Bush’ and after the invasion of Iran, ‘The Donald’ or ‘Donald J Trump’.”
Im the Dim