When asked in class how many students believe that people can do favours for others without any implicit motive, seven out of thirty students raised their hands. Later, when asked how many of the students do favours for others on an everyday basis without any implicit motive, all thirty students raised their hands. This activity in my psychology class suggests that the problem is not the deterioration of humanity, but rather humans no longer believing in human-ness. What creates this trust deficit? It’s a question we all need to ask ourselves.
Some of the reasons may include urbanisation, capitalism, and social media usage, among others. The urban structure often requires families to part ways, live away from their hometowns, and bear the burden of building social support networks from scratch. This divide-and-rule dynamic results in families choosing between making money and sustaining relationships. As a result, many opt to survive without sufficient social support, which can be disadvantageous in the long run. Research on mental health shows that social support is the single most effective vaccine against most mental health issues. By creating systems that no longer support social connections, we have deprived our generation of a vital element needed to thrive. We have unintentionally fostered a sense of trustlessness in our generation, which is now scared to ask for help and prefers to succeed alone rather than collectively.
Urbanisation has been linked to increased social isolation, as evidenced by studies indicating that city dwellers often lack strong social support networks compared to their rural counterparts (Pew Research Center, 2018). This isolation can contribute to higher rates of mental health disorders, such as depression and anxiety, among urban populations. Economic pressures associated with urban living, influenced by capitalistic structures, often prioritise economic success over social relationships, leading to longer working hours and reduced social interactions. These factors collectively illustrate how urbanisation is influencing social dynamics, trust, and community cohesion, highlighting the need for strategies that foster genuine human connections in urban environments.
Additionally, capitalism and social media have played a devastating role in eroding societal trust. The holographic race for fame has created an impression of perpetual competition among humans. While humans have the capacity to both cooperate and compete, the entire population now seems to be competing, living on adrenaline, and trying to win a race that leads nowhere.
Social media’s unregulated notifications keep bodies on alert under a false sense of threat. This, coupled with the incomplete but glorified pictures of others' lives, perhaps conditions people to feel threatened each time they see someone else happy or achieving. This repeated exercise erodes the feelings of safety and trust that humans otherwise had enough capacity to nurture.
Where did we go so wrong that our kids no longer believe in other humans, struggle with everyday challenges, cannot survive a single gathering with strangers, and live with chronic feelings of loneliness and emptiness?
Moreover, social media has eroded crucial skills needed for human survival. Today’s teenagers tend to block anyone with whom they disagree, depriving them of the opportunity to learn conflict management and interpersonal skills essential for survival in the workplace, on the streets, or at home.
No wonder we are creating generations that seem to have it all but happiness.
Dr Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, concluded from his research at the University of Pennsylvania (2004) that there are five elements of happiness: experiencing positive emotions regularly, being engaged in activities, having healthy relationships, finding meaning and purpose in life, and achieving. While this generation may be the most intelligent so far (Flynn effect), it lacks meaning and purpose. This means that it doesn’t have to be dramatic or unachievable, but it must be bigger than personal goals.
In today's world of social media and going viral, the meaning of life is often restricted to gaining popularity and fame - especially online.
The question then is: How much fame is enough fame? Perhaps no one can answer that. Then, wouldn’t it be a good idea to inculcate a sense of purposefulness so that the need for achievement and purpose are satisfied through better means?
Furthermore, the chances of experiencing positive emotions have also declined due to constant engagement with phones, which research suggests are more likely to make people feel negative or neutral rather than happy. Today's individual is most likely focused on only two out of the five core elements of happiness: i.e. positive emotions and achievement.
Recently, a senior clinical psychologist reported during an international conference at a university in Lahore that borderline traits are increasing in today’s generation. I can confirm this from my clinical practice. Borderline traits are marked by symptoms like unclear self-image, problems in regulating distressing emotions, lack of impulse control, an intense fear of abandonment, poor interpersonal relationships, and low self-worth. The unclear self-image is vividly seen on university campuses, with students dressing to look unique or different. Which makes me think, are they all the same in trying to look different and dealing with a deeper issue? Is this an issue that we as a society have served in a dish to our kids?
We must then think: Where did we go so wrong that our kids no longer believe in other humans, struggle with everyday challenges, cannot survive a single gathering with strangers, and live with chronic feelings of loneliness and emptiness? How did we, as a society, allow such a profound disconnection to take root in the hearts of our youth? Are we doing their emotional work for them? Are we not encouraging them to sustain relationships? Are we creating an environment that encourages impulsivity or immediate gratification, are we feeding their need for validation solely through competitive achievement? Or is it all of these?