My condition began in early adolescence when I started noticing my symptoms but since there was no awareness about it then and I had never heard of anyone else experiencing something like that, I ended up thinking that it was all in my head. Hence, my condition worsened over time, expanding to include more trigger sounds: such as those of people chewing food with their mouth open and slurping of drinks. Years after my symptoms began, I read an article in a magazine about misophonia, which described exactly how I was feeling. It was a discovery that brought with it a mix of emotions.
Misophonia is found to be quite common, affecting approximately 15% of adults (or 1 in 6.5 adults) and has been observed to be more severe in women than in men
A mix of joy and sadness, I guess. I realized that my situation was real and was not going to go away. It is a disorder that I did not bring on myself. . There was definitely relief that I was not just going crazy and there were other people like me. There has been no effective treatment so far and I have gone from doctor to doctor, searching in vain for help. However, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, another phobic and anxiety disorder, in my late teenage years. I realized there was a link between OCD and misophonia and that they are quite often co-morbid. This cognizance made me feel a lot better, knowing it was not a character flaw – as earlier, I kept thinking of myself as an oversensitive, overly emotional person and many more horrible things that any teenager should never think of themselves. I did not really know what the matter with me was. I just know that I could not stand certain sounds like chewing and loud breathing. I thought that everyone else felt the same, but they just did not show it, whereas I did, because I was weak. I used to question my anxiety as to why I was the only one like that, although thankfully my misophonic condition is a mild one. I constantly felt so ashamed, embarrassed and guilty whenever I asked a family member to stop tapping their fingers or fidgeting, for instance. They were normal sounds that they made subconsciously. Was I right to tell them to stop? My situation is not voluntary. I have often been told that I can control this if I want to. This is not my fault, however. I did not ask for it; I did not make it up.
As an adult now, I have not completely outgrown it but learnt to structure my lifestyle around it. Like me, most people with misophonia are able to overcome its challenges. Speaking from personal experience, I have worked my life around it and am now leading quite a healthy life. These trigger sounds still, as mentioned above, make my chest tighten and my heart pound. I find myself clenching my fists and glaring at the person making the sound. This condition initially caused me to annoy both family and friends and caused a lot of friction in my youth. Since my condition is a mild one, unlike others with more severe symptoms, I merely experience annoyance and irritation instead of flying into a full-blown rage.
In order to overcome this disorder or rather work around it, it is recommended that one tries exposure rather than over-protection against trigger sounds – since the more one guards against these sounds, the more anxiety is invoked about them
Misophonia is found to be quite common, affecting approximately 15% of adults (or 1 in 6.5 adults) and has been observed to be more severe in women than in men. Many people like me suffer in silence or are branded as grouchy, cranky and irritable. In my case, there may be a family link to my OCD diagnosis. I suspect my mother suffers from cleanliness OCD and mild misophonia too. She would buy me new shoes and complain that I was walking too loudly or get upset if my shoes were not clean enough. Meanwhile, I have learned to cope with the condition as best as I can, as I got older. Often, I get a bad migraine as a result. Since misophonia is a neurological disorder, I now state my condition matter-of-factly and am no longer apologetic about it.
Since misophonia is a relatively new health disorder identified in 2000, treatment options are limited and therefore people suffering from it have to resort to adopting coping mechanisms.
In order to overcome this disorder or rather work around it, it is recommended that one tries exposure rather than over-protection against trigger sounds – since the more one guards against these sounds, the more anxiety is invoked about them. Systematically expose yourself to sounds that annoy you. There is no shame in asking for help, so it will only do us some good if we seek competent and credible professional therapy. Garner support from your family and friends who are willing to accept and accommodate your condition. This makes life easy: not just for sufferers but also for people around them. All said and done, it takes extreme control to live with misophonia and appear outwardly normal.
The sad point is that everybody understands a headache but nobody understands what misophonia is. Trying to tell a person with misophonia to “just ignore” their triggering sounds is similar to telling a person with depression to “snap out of it,” and is just as unlikely to be helpful. We must acknowledge and spread awareness about this neurological disorder and syndrome. It is encouraging that misophonia is being researched these days. And it is hoped that these researches will yield new therapies and enhanced understanding from the broader public. Various treatments have shown some promise already. Maybe one day we will have a really robust and widely-available treatment.
My main concern is how misophonic individuals approach people who make noises that cause them emotional distress: without coming across as rude, disrespectful and drama queens! Earlier, I was wary and embarrassed about who I confided in about my misophonia, as many people do not believe the condition is real and some simply write you off as “difficult.” I hope more sufferers will come out of the closet and talk about it.
The writer is a freelance columnist, blogger, certified motivational speaker and ex-banker