As I progressively run out of steam, my fantasies become ever more farfetched. My latest is that Asma Jehangir, aided and abetted by Barack Obama, Narendra Modi and Malala Yusufzai, has dug a tunnel from Lahore to Delhi via Washington. In this tunnel, this Gang Of Four meets frequently to plot and plan my downfall. This tunnel is funded by the Sharifs’ and Zardari’s stolen billions.
These funds are funneled via a pipeline which runs from Geneva via the Bavarian Alps to the Sound of Music with Julie Andrews, to a large reservoir under the Lahore Metrobus from whence it is conveyed to the Gang Of Four.
On November 30, the day on which The Old Order will self-destruct, I am going to expose and accuse the following:
Faiz Ahmed Faiz.
The Sindhi people.
John F Kennedy.
Rigging in the Nobel Prize Committee.
Beyonce.
Winston Churchill.
Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto.
Rigging in the Miss World competition.
Paris Hilton.
Rigging in oil fields off the coast of Latvia (I hope it has a coast).
I’m also going to name the journos who’ve eaten the Sharifs’ millions. They’re all corrupt and crooked – the only paragon of virtue in the media is Mubashar Lucman.
The few sensible, non-delusional people left in my party have been telling me to calm down and not alienate everyone. What they don’t understand is that there is big conspiracy against me. This is distinguished by two characteristics: one is that it’s BIG. The second is that it’s a CONSPIRACY. This is why nowadays there are more people on the container than in front of it. This is because Nawaz Sharif has paid people to come up on the container.
Meanwhile, Zardari’s trying to sabotage my Larkana jalsa by brewing a cauldron in which there are all the Macbeth things like toads, lizard’s tails and basil with a hint of garlic or garlic with a hint of basil.
These funds are funneled via a pipeline which runs from Geneva via the Bavarian Alps to the Sound of Music with Julie Andrews, to a large reservoir under the Lahore Metrobus from whence it is conveyed to the Gang Of Four.
On November 30, the day on which The Old Order will self-destruct, I am going to expose and accuse the following:
Faiz Ahmed Faiz.
The Sindhi people.
John F Kennedy.
Rigging in the Nobel Prize Committee.
Beyonce.
Winston Churchill.
Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto.
Rigging in the Miss World competition.
Paris Hilton.
Rigging in oil fields off the coast of Latvia (I hope it has a coast).
I’m also going to name the journos who’ve eaten the Sharifs’ millions. They’re all corrupt and crooked – the only paragon of virtue in the media is Mubashar Lucman.
The few sensible, non-delusional people left in my party have been telling me to calm down and not alienate everyone. What they don’t understand is that there is big conspiracy against me. This is distinguished by two characteristics: one is that it’s BIG. The second is that it’s a CONSPIRACY. This is why nowadays there are more people on the container than in front of it. This is because Nawaz Sharif has paid people to come up on the container.
Meanwhile, Zardari’s trying to sabotage my Larkana jalsa by brewing a cauldron in which there are all the Macbeth things like toads, lizard’s tails and basil with a hint of garlic or garlic with a hint of basil.
Im the Dim