Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

PTI protestors fight over Eid gifts 


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Reported in Jang (October 6, 2014), when the women’s wing of Tehrik-e-Insaf began to give out eid gifts to the participants of their sit-in in Islamabad, they attacked the presents (toot parray) and began to fight each other over them (chheena jhapti aur mara mari) using batons and chairs. The women distributing the gifts were also hurt, and left.

Mother slaps boy for saying ‘Go Nawaz Go’


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According to Nai Baat (October 6, 2014), a boy and his sister were recording a video of themselves chanting Go Nawaz Go in Saudi Arabia. When their mother heard the slogan, she came and slapped him, and began to chant Stay Nawaz Stay to the camera.

‘Eid prayers behind Tahirul Qadri were invalid’


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Quoted in Dunya (October 9, 2014) famous cleric Haneef Jalandhri says the Eid prayers of those who prayed behind Tahirul Qadri were invalid. According to the Sharia, healthy people cannot pray behind a person who is not fit enough to bow and prostrate.

‘Death to Israel’ versus ‘Go Nawaz Go’


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Pakistan and Palestine played a friendly football match in Punjab Stadium, Lahore. According to Nawa-e-Waqt (October 9, 2014), Palestinian spectators chanted the slogan Death to Israel, while the Pakistani spectators changed Go Nawaz Go. At one point, the Palestinian supporters also begin to chant Go Nawaz Go.

Audience angered by film with bad print


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Zeba Bakhtiar has signaled that she will go to court against Karachi’s cinemas that took her film Operation 021 off too soon, reports Nai Baat (October 10, 2014). Capri cinema says the print was so bad that the audience were angry. Bambino cinema says people shouted and threw empty bottles at the screen.

Private schools celebrate ‘I am not Malala Day’


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Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (October 10, 2014), private schools of Pakistan celebrated ‘I am not Malala Day’ on October 10. The students were educated against Malala Yousafzai’s book, which the All Pakistan Private Schools Federation says will stay banned in all schools.

Entire Audit and Accounts group fails exam


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All the officers of the 40th Common Audit and Accounts Group failed the Federal Public Service Commission exam, according to Dunya (October 11, 2014). Only one candidate from the 39th Common  batch passed the re-sit exam.

‘Speak to the Hindu in a language he understands’


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The Hindu merchant (bania) should be spoken to in a language he understands, Jamaat-e-Islami emir Sirajul Haq says in Jang (October 11, 2014). If India forces a war on Pakistan, every child will become Salahuddin Ayubi, Mehmood Ghaznavi and Muhammad bin Qasim.

Wives scuffle in court over man’s property


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Reported in Jang (October 12, 2014), two wives of a man who are in a legal battle over his property began to slap and punch each other in a city court in Karachi (mukon aur thapron ki barish). The man looked on (tamasha dekhta raha) and the police did not stop them either (khamosh tamashai).

Men arrested for taking pictures of Bilawal House


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Express reports (October 12, 2014), Asif Zardari was in a meeting with PPP leaders at the new Bilawal House in Lahore when the security personnel tipped the police that some suspicious people were taking pictures of the building. Six men were arrested. When they turned out to be just visiting Bahria Town (ghoomnay phirnay ki gharz say) and taking pictures for fun (shoqia), they were released.

PAT followers beat up woman ‘thief’


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A woman thief (chorni) was caught, beaten up and chased away at Tahirul Qadri’s sit in in Islamabad, reports Express (October 13, 2014). The suspicious woman had been spotted before but left alone because there was no evidence. On October 12, she approached empty tents with the intention of stealing. She was caught and beaten up. Nothing was found on her when she was searched. The woman then ran away.

Nobel invented dynamite: Taliban


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Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (October 13, 2014), breakaway Taliban group Jamaatul Ahrar says Malala Yousafzai is an agent of the enemies of Islam. She says she is against guns and war, but she does not know the founder of the Novel prize had invented dynamite.