Who knows more about scantily clad women than I do? I’ve been through several lives and several wives. From hat on head, to dupatta on brow, to curtain on body. I have finally seen the light because I have reached the pineapple of nirvana. This light is the real thing – a big phantasmagorical chimera up in the blazing nocturnal sky, a giant apparition on a clear night from my bedroom window in Bunny Gala. No illusion this but a true visionary hallucination with deep crescendos of music. “Pink is the new Black”, it said in big neon lights, “and whatever Pink says goes, especially rape-preventing giant black burqas.”
Mind bogglingly inspired, I went to the cabinet meeting to announce the “Pink-Is-The-New-Black” campaign. But can you imagine?! The men just went along with me quietly, but the women – ungrateful wretches! After everything I’ve done for them! They refused to sign on to the campaign, and MUCH WORSE, refused to wear head to toe black burqas!
“Can I hazard a guess”, said Toad of Toad Hall, “as to who is behind this campaign …” I cut her off – “you certainly may not! Unlike my previous nuptials, this is an everlasting bond, not bondage. The good times have been replaced by Godly times. And Insafian women have to lead the way by donning the burqa to prevent rape”. But then Shaukat Tarin spoke up, who I’ve always suspected of being a Liberal: “er, ahem, as you know we are running on a very tight budget. And new head to toe black burqas are going to be an unbearable burden on the exchequer…”
“I have the perfect solution”, I said, “we’ll get sponsorships and have the sponsors’ badges on the burqas, like ads”. Askari Bank Rape Prevention Bonds, Dalda Male Repellent Ghee, Izhar Castration Pvt Ltd, and so on.
Im the Dim