Q: Lady Museebath, this humidity is killing me. My hair is perpetually frizzy and my skin is covered in a layer of oil. What do I do? I need to look good!
A: I can remember a time when frizzy hair and oily skin was actually considered a look. Put on some big hoops, a pair of gharara pants and throw a 70s themed party.
Q: Lady Museebath, I have a friend who has been talking about me to my other friend. I don’t know who to blame – the friend who is talking about me or the friend who is telling me about this friend who is talking about me? Help clarify please.
A: You clearly don't have any friends do you? Imaginary friends are nice when you're a child. Not when you're a grown adult.
Q: Lady Museebath, it’s too hot to host parties and dinners but my husband insists on it. He just wants constant entertainment. Is he interested in one of our female friends?
A: It is quite obvious. It’s not that he’s interested in someone else. It’s just you he wants to avoid.
Q: I am in love with a girl. But she does not know this. I want to tell her I love her. But she is married to another man. I love her so much I would walk a thousand miles for her.
A: At this point I’d say keep walking. In the opposite direction. Far, far away from her.