Ittefaq Nama

So, did they think they could drive veg between Asaf and me? No chanuss. Asaf knows he will be rewiled by history if he lets down people’s movement against fascist state, hain ji. I admit, there is bad blood between us. My miss take. Karachi operation in my last tumm, at prodding of Rizwan ex-DG ISI and his best friend Chory Nisar. Big miss take. I admit. Also memogate, at prodding of Kayani ex-COAS and Pasha ex-ex DG ISI. Mother Of All Miss Takes. I promise by God, I told Asaf, if I haven’t honoured Charter of Demo Cracy drawn up by late Benazir shaheed and myself thus far, I will do so in full latter and sprit. Just let me come back, just one more time, just once.

Seeing us back together again has given Mraan nightmares. My spies tell me he roams streets of Salamabad after dark. Accidentally, he ended up at door of Mental Hospital at midnight. He said to the Medical Superintendent, “I’m the Prime Minister, you know”. He replied, “of course you are, sir, just come this way.”

Sleeplass nights. Swollen eyes. I have heard that he was bemoaning the situation a few days ago, “I am so disappointed that the whole of Pakistan is disappointed with me. What has HAPPENED to Pakistanis, who gave me such a great mandate only two and a half years ago?” I hear his interlocutor had the guts to reply truthfully, “it’s because of inflation and record unemployment”. To this Mraan replied, “I can feel their pain. I too haven’t had work all this time. Someone else does the work, I just follow orders.”

One order he is going to have to own is privatization of State Bank of Pakistan. Buyer? IMF. When I used to cry about this organization, “they” used to say, “shape up or ship out”. What now, hain ji? You are going to do exactly what International Monetary Fudge wants you to do, isn’t it? I damn care. I am a Marxist, i.e. dedicated shopper at Marks & Spencer, waiting for it to open after lockdown finishes.

NS