For those of you living under a rock, the Kimye vs. Swift drama began in 2009, when Kanye was just a crazy single guy who greatly admired pop music legend Beyoncé. In fact, he admired Beyoncé so much that he interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards just to tell the world that Beyoncé deserved to win instead (although this was a bad idea, he was sort of right). Anyway, fast forward to 2016, and all is well in pop culture land. Kanye is happily married to reality TV sensation and business tycoon (yes, business tycoon) Kim Kardashian, and Taylor Swift is happily fleeting between highly eligible bachelors (another drama worth seriously Googling, guys). Both parties have now moved well past the 2009 incident - or so it seems. In April 2016, Kanye released a single titled ‘Famous’ where he took credit for Taylor Swift’s fame (I’ll admit, he isn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch). As a result, Swift went bananas and created a huge social media storm to drown out Kanye. She also accused Kanye of lying when he insisted that he sought her permission for the lyrics before the release of the single. The world was rooting for Taylor Swift.
In July 2016, Kim Kardashian snapchatted a video of Kanye calling Swift and obtaining her consent, just as he had asserted. Clever, timely and legally non-binding, this was one of the greatest acts of revenge to have been performed in recent history.
Revenge, I prefer to do it Kim Kardashian style i.e. myself. Leaving it to karma is just plain stupid
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Journal Entry No. 137
High: Today, Babar took me and my friends out for dinner. He was kind and courteous and he even paid for the entire meal. The best part about him is that he can talk about anything at all. He spoke with Sanam about her medical career, with Maryam about her academics and even with Zara about her stupid fashion line. In the end, before dropping me home, he looked into my eyes and held my hands and said, “Anam, I love you.” I told him I loved him too.
Low: Bobo is ill. The vet said she would be okay in a few days.
Journal Entry No. 250
High: The wedding was perfect. Everybody said I looked like a princess and nobody messed up the dances (well, not too much).
Low: My Sana Safinaz gown for the Walima wasn’t as heavy as I would have liked. I knew Babar’s parents were a little cheap, but I really didn’t think they would compromise on something as important as their son’s wedding. Now that I think about it, perhaps a two-carat ring was a good deal after all.
Journal Entry No. 315
High: Gilmore Girls is coming back on Netflix.
Low: Babar hit me for the third time this month. He pushed me against the wall of the closet and kicked me till I fell to the floor. I don’t know what to do. I insisted on marrying him and my mother says that I need to make this marriage work now that I’ve created such a huge scene and got my way. I wish I could get out of this marriage somehow. I don’t think I love Babar anymore. In fact, I hate him and his guts.
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When it comes to revenge, I prefer to do it Kim Kardashian style i.e. myself. Leaving things up to Karma is just plain stupid. Why, you ask? Isn’t it better to be the bigger person? To let the universe take its course? Um, no baby. It’s not better. Firstly, karma doesn’t come with the satisfaction that an act of revenge does. I mean, who has the time to waste years and years (or even days) for an end they may never even hear about? Secondly, karma usually strikes when you’ve stopped caring about causing the hurt that it supposedly brings about. What’s the point? Lastly, and most important of all, karma is a ruse. People have good days and bad days, and they are never clearly defined. What if karma strikes in a way that you never intended?
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Journal Entry No. 340
Babar is dead. He got into a car accident this morning on the Jinnah Flyover. He had a stroke that caused a blackout and before he knew it, he was upside down and badly hurt. We put him on the vent but his heart gave out in a few hours. The doctor’s said there was no way we could have known. Apparently, it’s normal to just randomly have a stroke and die. Anyway, he’s gone. I am a widow…but I won’t get hit anymore…
Is this a high or a low?
Zara C. Churri lives in Lahore