Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Peter Pan?

When former Chief Minister Qaim Ali Shah arrived at Sukkur Airport for the first time since leaving office, he was given full VIP protocol. The Chief Minister on this occasion remarked that he still considers himself young, and will continue to serve the people with the vigour and enthusiasm of youth. Daily Jang reported (22 Aug 2016) that he expressed confidence that he looks forward to another term in government for the PPP after the current one.


Adolescent on the ECL

Daily Dunya reported (22 Aug 2016) that authorities have asked the parents of a 12-year-old child to present themselves for investigation after it was discovered that the child was on the Exit Control List (ECL) for years now - at the request of his own father.

tft-34b-cPM’s own dharna?

Addressing a rally in Gujranwala, Sheikh Rasheed stated that it was Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif who is engaged in a sit-in (dharna), and that this prevents the country from functioning. Daily Express reported (22 Aug 2016) that the leader of the Awami Muslim League further observed that soon we will know which of the two Sharif’s will finish their tenure.



Daily Dunya reported (23 Aug 2016) that a pair of bandits in police custody escaped in the following manner: they first snatched the keys to their handcuffs, then broke a storage cabinet to seize a pistol from the police and finally made good their escape by depriving a passing motorcyclist of his vehicle.



Gulberg Lahore police have arrested a young student in his first year of studies at the Intermediate level. The boy had been driving around Lahore’s fashionable M.M. Alam Road in a rented car, on which he had fixed a false number-plate of the Federal Board of Revenue (FBR). Daily Express reported (23 Aug 2016) that the youngster had defied local police for days, performing stunts in the car, which he had rented from a disabled man.


Punjab Parliament: closed for business?

Daily Express reported (26 Aug 2016) that thanks to the lack of interest from members of the Punjab Assembly has meant that fulfilling the quorum of the House remains a problem. Recently, out of 371 members, only 60 were observed to be in attendance at the Assembly.


“Legal issues? No problem!”

Daily Express reported (27 Aug 2016) that Islampura police in Lahore have arrested a man who had gone around claiming to be the ‘personal assistant’ of the Chief Justice of the High Court, and had been collecting sums of money from people in this context before he was apprehended.


“Don’t eat the mystery meat!”

According to Daily Jang (27 Aug 2016), police busted a criminal operation in the act of transporting some 100 mun of meat from dead animals and carrion to be sold to unsuspecting buyers in Lahore. Investigations have revealed that the suspects had been apprehended previously in Lahore for selling dead animals for meat, and had been using fraudulent seals from the Veterinary Hospital to pass their dangerous product off as being acceptable to their unsuspecting customers.


Hospitality: “Higher than the Himalayas…”

Daily Jang reported (27 Aug 2016) that local authorities in the great southern Chinese port and trading hub Guangzhou have banned Pakistanis (along with some other nationalities) from renting rooms in cheaper hotels. The higher authorities in the Guangdong region have refused so far to comment on the matter.


Divorce for Bhai

Daily Dunya reported MQM leader Farooq Sattar as saying that the party has effectively divorced (talaaq) London-based leader Altaf Hussain. Mr. Sattar went on to state that party decision-making is no longer under the control of the embattled Mr. Hussain.