I have announced that snap elections should be held immediately and I will hold firm to this demand until I do a U-Turn. I began our core committee meeting with this announcement, amidst resounding consternation, debate and waffle, drowned out by poems of praise to myself by my most Faithful Lieutenants. First Poem Of Praise by Sheeda Tully:

“Captain, Chairman, Leader of Tully

Thine name it is impossible to Sully,

Thine home most famous in the Gully,

Thine brain not only dull but Dully!

O Great Leader of Sheeda Tully!”

Second Poem Of Praise by SMQ:

“What can I say in praise of Khan Lala?

The one who lives in Bunny Gala,

Remember Playboy’s Bunnies Ooh La La!

Bridget Bardot & Bruni Carla

The beans all spilled by Ayesha Gulala”

Third Poem Of Praise by JKT:

“Worry not if you can’t understand,

I, Aristotle, am always at hand.

Nothing, but nothing, can spoil our brand,

As long as you follow the script as planned,

And together we can get the Mian banned.”

Everyone in the core committee wanted to recite a Poem Of Praise in my honour but I stopped them  because I’m a most humble person. I then asked Asad Umar to enumerate all the great things we’ve done in the four years since the rigged elections of 2013. “It gives me great satisfaction”, said AU, “to announce that nothing has actually happened so far, Your Constantly Ecstatic Highness”. Everyone clapped at that and congratulated me, “Indeed, O Ye Khan of The Golden Horde, Punctilious Majesty, Most Gracious U-Turner. A great deal has not happened and it has to do mostly with our non-performance and no-show in Parliament, besides our inability to produce Naya Pakistan, Your Divine Daftness.”

Im the Dim