When I became a mother, I would start fretting over such small issues – always feeling heavy-hearted at not being able to do enough for my child. Half of that guilt came from within me as part of a natural process to adjusting to, or rather accepting, this new responsibility as a mother. The remaining half of it is what society put on me and on most young women.
From the earliest stages of a mother’s experience, this can take the form of uncalled-for remarks on how you’re not doing well as a mother or just casual conversations on how a breast-feeding mother beats one who’s unable to produce enough or how women who deliver vaginally are somehow superior to the ones who deliver via cesarean etc. I mean: I delivered vaginally but took an epidural and somehow even that became a point of discussion for some! Hmm.
Half of that guilt came from within me as part of a natural process of adjusting to - or rather accepting - this new responsibility as a mother. The remaining half is what society put on me and on most young women
I took so much pressure back then – which I never would face in the future Insha Allah, And now I can easily laugh it off. But back then, I began to question if motherhood was actually beautiful!
What I know now is that every mother tries her level best to do the utmost for her little one. Yes she needs guidance and she needs advice but what she needs most of all is love and reassurance! Why are we always the first ones to make a correction but the last ones to say “You’re doing a great job”?
So this is a message to everyone including myself: let’s always tell a new mum how she’s doing a great job and then tell her kindly if there’s anything to be told. She already has so much on her plate. How wonderful would it be if we could decorate her plate with words of kindness, encouragement and appreciation!
It’s also a message to young mothers: You’re doing more than enough. You’re a mother, you’re “MAA”. You’re that mother whom even the Kindest and Most Loving Almighty has cited as a parable when conveying a sense of Divine Love. You are capable of everything big and small: everything your child needs. You are enough for your child; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
I grew to enjoy motherhood because I have a very strong support system Alhamdullilah and I learnt not to pay heed to the voices which didn’t matter. But it makes me so sad when I see so many young girls unable to enjoy this beautiful phase of motherhood – and much of it just because they are never told that whatever they are doing is enough!