Whenever Britney Spears's name is mentioned, most people around the world picture a baby-faced siren dressed in a skimpish school uniform, dancing in a hallway and crooning her way to the top of the US Billboard Hot 100 charts in 1998.
Her recent autobiography, released after a very public case against her father, offers a glimpse at the naive teenager who shook the music world by storm even as she was caught up in a storm at home.
Britney begins her autobiography by explaining her rough childhood days in conservative Louisiana, where an alcoholic father made life at home difficult. Even as a child, she found solace in singing, something she discovered when she heard a housekeeper sing gospel music. It awakened a whole new world, she writes.
To Britney, singing is magic; when she sings, she owns who she is. She writes, "Singing takes me to a mystical place where language doesn’t matter anymore, where anything is possible.”
As a young performer, Britney was always interested in singing and dancing. She entered local dance competitions, and then her mother started taking her to contests all over the region. Soon, her mother sent footage of her to an agent in New York, Nancy Carson, singing “Shine On, Harvest Moon.” Soon, she had signed with a talent agency.
Britney writes that when she looks back at that time, she was truly living the dream. Justin and Britney wore coordinated denim outfits to the 2001 American Music Awards and appeared very much in love. But it soon fell apart when Britney found out that Justin was a compulsive cheater; he made her abort their baby at home, one of the most painful experiences of her life. Then he broke up with her
Britney is naively honest when she writes that she was a little girl with big dreams of being a star like Madonna, Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston. But she adds she had simpler dreams, too, dreams where her dad would stop yelling at her mother and that everything would be okay. I was touched by her humanness, her wanting to be normal in a world that tried to make her something else over the decades while the world watched. Her life was like a show on public display.
At the age of ten, she was invited to be a contestant at Star Search, and she then became an understudy at Broadway for a while. But Broadway required being at work even on Christmas, and she just did not enjoy it. The schedule of the New York Theatre was too tough, she wrote. At her second round of the Mickey Mouse Club, she met Justin Timberlake, whom she bonded with and fell in love with later in life. The Mickey Mouse Club was a wonderful experience for Britney as she understood how television performances work and realised that she wanted to sing and dance.
In eighth grade, she smoked and drank cocktails with her mother, enjoying her life in Louisiana before reentering the singing business. Britney proved her prowess and accomplished at the tender age of 15 what many can only dream of: a record deal with Jive Records in New York. She writes how she spent months recording songs in her booth and barely came out for air. Her work ethic was strong, and she insisted on recording songs till they were perfect. She describes how the futuristic video of ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ was her idea, with everyone wearing uniforms and dancing like New Yorkers.
Little did she know just how big of a hit the song would become and, ultimately, change Britney’s life forever.
Things moved fast after the song, and she ended up on a tour with Justin Timberlake's boy band NSYNC; she became a regular on MTV’s shows, and every magazine wanted to feature her on their cover.
Just as her romance with Justin Timberlake started to blossom, Britney discovered the negative aspect of fame. People kept making strange comments about her breasts – her body was sexualised, and apart from being the singer, she had become a sex symbol for all. At concerts, her audience began to comprise older men fulfilling some Lolita fantasy rather than teens like her. Suddenly, parents blamed her for how she dressed and influenced their kids the wrong way.
This had an impact on Brtiney's mental health, and she resorted to taking Prozac. Meanwhile, she kept breaking records, becoming one of the best-selling female artists of all time and became known as the Princess of Pop. She still went on tours across the world and even acted in a film. Britney writes that when she looks back at that time, she was truly living the dream. Justin and Britney wore coordinated denim outfits to the 2001 American Music Awards and appeared very much in love. But it soon fell apart when Britney found out that Justin was a compulsive cheater; he made her abort their baby at home, one of the most painful experiences of her life. Then he broke up with her.
Despite her breakup, Britney had to continue her Dream Within A Dream tour. Justin manipulated the situation and wrote a song about how Ms. Spears had cheated on him, which was largely false. Britney went on a road trip to Arizona with a friend and said she felt God in the desert. She says she knew she wouldn’t let the darkness consume her, even in the darkest night, “you must still find so much light.”
Britney feels that the conservatorship robbed her of her womanhood and converted her into a child, turning her into an entity rather than a person on stage. It stole the love for music from her as well
Britney explains how she coped with serious social anxiety and found herself living in New York alone for months, closed off from the world in her four-story NoHo apartment that Cher used to live in. She rarely ventured outside or met anyone. She did meet Madonna, though, and the Queen of Pop taught the Princess of Pop how to make a life for herself while preserving the parts of her nice-girl identity.
Britney talks about her first Las Vegas marriage and how it was annulled within days due to interference from her family. She explains her hectic work-life balance, living on the road, in buses, the costume racks, long rehearsals and step-and-repeats.
Then she met Kevin Federline. Soon, she married him, and they had two children. In the beginning, their relationship was productive and helped distract her from her work, which felt challenging. While the press worried about how large she had grown and that she was a bad mother, Britney was coping with trouble in her marriage as Kevin began focusing on his career and ignoring his family, even though Kevin publicly claimed that being a father meant everything to him. She writes that the fact that she was followed everywhere by the paparazzi trying to get a shot of her every move didn’t help her personal life. Soon enough, her marriage to Kevin ended. Britney filed for divorce because she was informed that if she didn’t, Kevin surely would. She rightly feels that just like Justin, she was played by Kevin.
They were both very clever and knew how to use their situation to their advantage. It led to Britney losing trust in people. Though she partied with Paris Hilton after that to attain a sense of normalcy, Britney claims it was nothing out of the ordinary. Shaving her hair was also described as an act of rebellion because her hair was so sexualised in the media.
She loves her children and says that her most precious moments are those spent with Sean Preston and Jaydon James, who were taken away from her by Federline in the middle as they were embroiled in a custody battle.
Later, her father set up a conservatorship with Louise “Lou” Taylor. Conservatorships are usually reserved for people with no mental capacity to function properly, but Britney was highly capable. She had a full-fledged career and was making a ton of money for a lot of people. Her father set up two forms of “conservatorship of the person” and “conservatorship of the estate.” This let him control almost all details of her life, like where to eat and live, whether she could drive a car and what she did day-to-day. Worst of all, she wasn’t given access to her lawyer, a basic human right. The conservatorship of the estate – worth tens of millions of dollars at one point – was managed by a lawyer named Andrew Wallet, who would eventually be paid $426,000 a year for keeping her from her money. At the same time, she would be forced to pay upwards of $500,000 a year to her court-appointed lawyer, who she wasn’t allowed to replace.
Her father and Lou’s company monitored every move she made, and Britney felt like she was treated like a criminal or a predator. Neither her mother nor her younger sister helped during this phase. They stood silently on her father’s side and used Britney’s fame to their advantage. She played along for 13 years while her father made money off her, and finally, she thought she needed her freedom to be with her children in peace.
For Britney, freedom means “being goofy, silly, and having fun on social media.” For her, freedom means being as beautifully imperfect as everyone else
Britney feels that the conservatorship robbed her of her womanhood and converted her into a child, turning her into an entity rather than a person on stage. It stole the love for music from her as well. She thinks it is funny how, in 2008, she won 20 awards for her music and performances while her family controlled every aspect of her life. She then adds that the truth is, it wasn’t funny at all.
Britney was institutionalised by her family probably because she is bipolar, although she doesn’t discuss this in her book, and she says this was the toughest time for her. She says being put on lithium was not necessary, and she spent most of the time in solitary confinement. It seems to me that her family terribly mishandled the whole situation, as bipolar patients can often be treated well at home.
Finally, after months, she was reunited with her sons. On June 23, 2021, Britney made the make-or-break 911 phone call that the world had been expecting – and she told a judge all that had happened to her – that she was unhappy, angry and depressed. Most importantly, she said she wanted the conservatorship to end.
Her then-boyfriend and later third husband, Hesham Asghari, helped her during this difficult time, even though they recently divorced. After her phone call, she was granted access to a lawyer, and after a public court case, the conservatorship of her father was removed. She says she felt so many emotions when the conservatorship ended: shock, relief, elation, sadness, and joy. She hopes her story will impact others and make changes in the corrupt system. Finally free, she celebrated with the simplest of rebellious actions she could, eating chocolate – something her father had not allowed her to do for years. She then went jet skiing to enjoy her newfound freedom properly.
For Britney, freedom means “being goofy, silly, and having fun on social media.” For her, freedom means being as beautifully imperfect as everyone else. Being the calm woman she has evolved into, she feels strong and confident in her own right now, and I am happy for her.
Britney is a musician, a performer, a mother, a global icon, and now – with this book – an author. Her struggles and kindness through it all are an inspiration not just to young girls and women that they can achieve anything they put their minds to but to all humans that if you endure, no matter what the odds – you can succeed.
With hard work, perseverance and prayer, the sky is just the beginning. Britney’s book is a manual for positive thinking and growth, and it’s no wonder that everyone is rushing to grab it off the shelves.