Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Such sad news, I said to Shbaz Saab when I rang him in Lahore. Rishi Kapoor ki death ho gayee hai. Such a talented family who left Peshawar and went to Bombay. Changa keeta, they would have rulloed in Pakistan. Rishi was son of Raj Kapoor and they made forget-me-not fillum “Bobby”. I said, Shbaz, do you remember, it was from our youth in 1973.

“Hum tummmmm, aik kamray meiN band hooooN,

Aur chaabi khho jayeee …”

Shbaz Saab said, “For God sake, bhaijan, don’t utter such words. I have to face NAB soon and the song reminds me of jail.”

Then I said, Shbaz, tell me, haw they are feeling naw having handed Pakistan to Khan with melted brain? Again Shbaz Saab said, for God sake bhaijan, don’t utter such words. They are tapping my phone. I said ok I won’t talk about them but I called Al-Prince and complained about THEM. I said fust elections were stolen and Al Prince asked, what are elections. I said Your Highness, they are the bedrock of democracy. He asked what is democracy? I was stunned into silence but Al Prince continued, “where does democracy come from? Where can I buy it? How much does it cost?” And I explained patiently that it was made in England. “Your Profound Profundity, someone called Maggie Carta made it and it was more than a thousand years ago so it’s a very costly antique”. Al Prince said that’s fine. I presume I can buy it at Sotheby’s or Christie’s. I tried to dissuade him but he persisted, saying “Brother, when were the first El-Ections in England?” I said, “it was in 1066, Your Fascinating Fascisty, when Prince William and Kate Middleclass came back from Normandy”. Al Prince asked please get me Kate’s private cell phone number.

“Of course, Your Cellular Phoney, I will revert at my earliest convenience”. Then I shut phoon and threw it in River Thames.