I hear Trump’s busy granting a Presidential pardon to his sons, son-in-law, daughter and most of all, to himself. What a great thing is this US Constitution. Don’t we have something like this? Not that I’m going anywhere but just asking.

I summoned Mr Know-All to find out about this pardon thingy. “Can I give myself a pardon?” I ventured. “WHY?” came the bellicose reply. “J-just asking”, I stammered. “And just WHO do you wish to pardon?” asked Mr Know All.

“Er, I was thinking I’d like to pardon you to begin with”. “WHAT? WHO? ME? WHY?” “Well, it’s you who’s responsible for me, right? I mean, none of this is my fault. You should’ve known better”.

As you can imagine, Mr Know All blew his top and strode out of the room, slamming the door shut. But as you know, once I get something into my cerebral vortex, I can’t get it out. So this pardon thingy kept haunting me. I called Sheikh Rasheed who humours my every demand. “Wanna pardon?” I asked him. “I am coming,” he said. “Lucky you”, I said. He arrived and asked what was in my mind. “Apart from that solitary brain cell?” I asked. “Sir ji, what you are thinking?” So I told him about Donald Trump’s pardons to himself and his family.

Sheikh Rasheed said, “he is pardoning Javed Kushner and Priyanka Trump?” I rolled my eyes, “JARED and IVANKA!” I told him I could pardon him for his daily drivel and rubbish railways. “We are leafing? Our gormint is going?” he asked anxiously. I was extremely irritated but restrained myself. Well left, I thought.

I next asked Shah Mahmud Qureshi if he’d like a nice little pardon. What for, he also wanted to know. “Well, it should be obvious. For the way you’ve botched our foreign policy and left us friendless”. “Now just a minute”, he blustered, “you know VERY WELL who’s responsible for that. I only follow orders. You should know all about that. And why all these pardons? Are we being ousted? ARE WEEEE? Tell me the truth here and now!”

WHAT is it with these guys? WHY are they so insecure?

Im the Dim