The Vow factor

The Vow factor, as opposed to the wow factor, in The Great Khan’s horde has been up to no good. Hailing from the city by the sea, he also has an abode in our capital at the foot of the Margallas. His original claim to fame is the dual nationality case in which he’s brazening it out as a public rep and the courts are inexplicably tolerant of his inordinate delays. The news from home isn’t terribly inspiring either. We hear there are loud bust-ups on a regular basis – sometimes it’s a conflagration with the home department and sometimes with the foreign affaires department. We expect no better.

Intense tutorials

A warm welcome to the miniature Big Ben who delivered a confident and fluent speech at the Multan jalsa. She was so reminiscent of her late and much-missed mother, although a pint-sized version of the original. We hear she has been having intense tutorials for her Urdu and declamation. Sources say she’s intensely political and determined to carve out a place for herself. As a famous poet said:

“Mein roop badal kar aaoon gi/tum mujh ko maar na pao gay.”

End to end encrypted?

In case you thought WhatsApp was end to end encrypted, we’ve heard that’s not strictly the case. They say around 200 important numbers have been rendered accessible. This happened after a special software created by the Israelis was acquired. It’s expensive and difficult to run, hence the 200 limitation. Otherwise, it would’ve been all and sundry, given our spooks’ insatiable appetite for eves dropping.

Top notch mandarin

A recently retired mandarin was speaking to his juniors and describing the caliber of holders of the land’s highest office. Said he, “ZAB was the last premier to actually read the files put up to him. None of his elected or selected successors had any inclination for paperwork, until a full four decades later when SKA restarted the hallowed practise of going through the files”. The mandarin should know, having served right up to the top notch.