Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Thanks God tsunami never came. Without numbers, and after lathi charge by Punjab Poolce, Imran Khan’s mummy daddy supporters did a no-show. And CM Pervez Khattak marched back with his mob to Peshawar. Yaum-e-tashakkur was celebrated in PM House.

Wensday was fust day in weeks that I was been able to put my feet up and watch an old Indian movie (oops) while scoffing a giant bar of Toblerone. Hope I’m not violating National Security by watching Indian movie, hain ji.

I have also said Thanksgiving Prayers and your bhabi has given a finish (khatm) for the blessing that is Imran Khan as my No 1 opponent. With enemies like him, who needs friends, hain ji?

Poochho na unsay kay kya ho gaya,

Umpire phhir bewafa ho gaya

Dharnay say “noon” nikkal gaya

Dharna dharay ka dhara reh gaya

It’s not as if I didn’t send warnings to Imran that please don’t do “Lock Dawn” of Islamabad. Even Chinese Ambassador went to see him to dissuade him. “Hu Yu Tink Yu Ah?” he asked him, “Yu-Tan Kan?” Still Imran didn’t listen. He even warned Imran that government will use tear gas to dispel crowds. Ambassador predicted it would be “Stin Ki Pu”. Then load-shedding started and the lights went out in Bani Gala. As you know, IK doesn’t put on the generator. “I don’t want to keep you in the dark”, he told the ambassador and showed him out.

In cabinet meeting, everyone said how awful of Imran Khan to accuse me of evading the question of undeclared off-shore companies. “I wasn’t evading the question”, I said, “I was avoiding it”. Quickly, everyone started talking. They all agreed that IK is our Donald Trump. They are both “no-brainers”, hain ji. Vaisay, look at American elections. From Hope (Obama) to Grope (Trump).

As you know, Bill Clinton is a dear friend. He saved me from Musharraf. I called him to wish Hillary luck, “it’s time to have a woman in the Oval Office”, I told Bill. He replied, “been there, done that!”

What is meaning?