Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Pervez Khattak should not have danced


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According to Jang (August 17, 2014), a large number of people disliked (bura manaya) that the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Chief Minister Pervez Khattak danced on the stage during the PTI protest, soon after 16 people died in rainstorms in Peshawar. People telephoned the Jang office and said the provincial administration was singing and dancing (nach gaanon main masroof) instead of redressing the woes of the victims of the disasters.

Governor couldn’t sleep because chief minister was away


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According to Jang (August 17, 2014), the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa chief minister didn’t bother to return to Peshawar while its citizens were in pain because of the violent rainstorms. Governor Sardar Mehtab Abbassi had to wake up all night to oversee rescue operations.

Meera’s advice for Nawaz Sharif 


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Reported in Dunya (August 18, 2014), actress Meera says Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif can ease the political tensions in Pakistan if he follows her advice. If he visits and embraces Imran Khan and Tahirul Qadri, they will relent. Politics will go on, but the Punjab governor should not forget that he had promised to give me an appointment to inaugurate my charity hospital.

Hockey veterans caught gambling


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Reported in Express (August 18, 2014), several national hockey players, including veterans and Olympians, were caught gambling during a raid at a hotel in Lahore. Other hockey players and an SP who was a former hockey player asked the police to let them go. They said the arrested players were national assets and should be let go even if they were gambling. But the players were sent on a judicial remand.

Imran Khan follows Gandhi, not Jinnah


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Quoted in Express (August 19, 2014), Punjab Minister for Minorities Khalil Tahir Sindhu says Imran Khan claims to be a follower of Jinnah, but is acting like Gandhi. Jinnah had opposed Gandhi’s civil disobedience movement in 1920.

Qadri’s bullet-proof cars locked 


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Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (August 20, 2014), Tahirul Qadri’s two bullet proof cars have been locked permanently after both their manual and automatic lock systems malfunctioned.

PTI, PAT owe one million in toll tax


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Dunya reports (August 21, 2014) that the PTI did not pay Rs 658,000 in toll taxes on their way to Islamabad, and the PAT Rs 328,000. Leaders of the party say the officials at the toll booths should have asked their followers to pay the toll tax. The toll plaza officials said they were lenient (sakhti ka muzahira naheen kiya) because they were carrying sticks and weapons.

Imran Khan will strangle the IG if his people are hurt


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Reported in Jang (August 22, 2014), Imran Khan says he will strangle the new Inspector General of Police in Islamabad if the police hurt even a single of his followers. He will also punch him once or twice before throwing him in jail.

Wicket on a no ball


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Quoted in Dunya (August 23, 2014) Punjab Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif says Imran Khan wants a wicket on a no ball and that is not possible in cricket. Sheikh Rashid says it is possible to run someone out on a no ball.

Policeman stuck at sit-in fears losing bride


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According to Nawa-e-Waqt (August 23, 2014) a police man deployed to the two sit-ins in Islamabad began to cry when he was denied a leave for his wedding. He says it is a love marriage and has been delayed twice, and fears the girl’s parents will marry her to someone else.

Zardari should be made president


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Reported in Express (August 24, 2014), the president of PML-Q in Norway has said Asif Zardari’s return to Pakistani politics is a gust of fresh air (taza hawa ka jhonka). Zardari should be made president of Pakistan in order to overcome the political crisis.

Meera offers to negotiate with Imran Khan and Tahirul Qadri 


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Quoted in Nawa-e-Waqt (August 24, 2014) actress Meera has said she can meet Imran Khan and Tahirul Qadri and persuade them to end their protest if the government allows her. She said the sit-ins worry her like every other Pakistani, and should end soon.