Jahez (dowry) is a corrupted form of the Arabic word “Jahaz” which means to provide or prepare equipment. In most societies of the South Asian Subcontinent and many other countries of the world, the things given to a girl on the occasion of her marriage are called Jahez. The system of dowry is entrenched in our society since many centuries, and has now became an intrinsic part of our social norms and traditions. Many people believe that it helps solidify a woman’s position among her in laws and her relationship to the groom’s family. In order to fulfill the demands of dowry, a girl’s family spend beyond their means on the wedding expenses. Some parents often have to risk their self-esteem and beg others to help them and then later have to bear the weight of debts on their shoulders.
This system has now taken on the role of a social evil condemned by many but still practiced and tolerated by civil society, and even by highly educated people in the country but surprisingly there is no effective law to ban or to curb this evil. Recently, I was shocked to find out that a housemaid, who is a widow, had to pay for Rs 200,000 (2 lakhs) worth of furniture and clothing for her daughter's soon-to-be husband as dowry. When I discouraged her from making the dowry payment and informed her that it is unlawful, she replied that it is a social custom and if she refuses, her daughter will forever remain unmarried. She further added that if she did not pay, she was afraid that her daughter's husband and in-laws will not treat her well.
The centuries-old dowry tradition in Pakistan is now a harrowing social evil and a curse for many women and poor families. The practice of demanding dowry by the groom’s family has become very common and has also resulted in a frightening increase in dowry-related violence and deaths. According to a report by the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan, over 2,000 women are killed every year in dowry related incidents.
There are no limits to the amount of money demanded or given in a dowry: it can easily start from Rs500,000 and there is no upper limit. In some cases, the groom’s family demands a dowry that is beyond the means of the bride’s family. When the bride’s family is unable to meet the demands, the groom’s family may resort to violence, threats, or even murder. Ironically, the evil of dowry is extremely deep rooted in our society, and people now find it impossible to break the shackles of this evil practice.
Dowry-related violence has become fairly common in our society because there is a strong cultural belief that the bride’s family is duty bound to provide dowry. Millions of families today find themselves deep in debt and facing excruciating pains of financial burdens and we are now witnessing the horrors of dowry related deaths and suicides.
In recent times, the government has taken the initiative to curb the dowry-related violence, and legislation has been put in place to address this evil practice. Dowry and Bridal Gifts (Restriction) Act was passed in 1976, and was intended to control the giving and taking of dowry and to prevent its extravagant limits. This law makes it clear that it is a crime to demand or give dowry and prescribes a punishment of up to two years in jail. This act is a good law but unfortunately awareness and enforcement of this law is still a great hurdle. Despite the law, dowry-related violence or crimes still go unreported due to social norms, societal pressures and poor policing.
Ironically a woman’s home where she is supposed to feel safe and protected has become a dangerous place for her. According to a report published by the Aurat Foundation in 2019, some 86% of women have experienced some form of domestic violence during their lifetime. Dowry related deaths are a tragic part of the larger issue of violence against women, including other harmful acts like rape, acid throwing, burning, and other types of domestic violence. The average age of women who are killed in dowry-related violence is 22 years old.
In 2021, a survey was conducted by Gallup and Gilani Pakistan, it was found that 53% of those polled expressed that they agreed with the tradition of giving and receiving dowry and only 38% people disagreed or condemned this social evil. The survey results shed light on the extent of acceptance of this evil by our civil society. Despite the increase in literacy rates and growing awareness about the evils of this tradition majority of the people in this country still believe in participating in this evil practice and this should be some food for thought for our social workers and political leaders. This high percentage of believers in the dowry system shows that this social evil is deeply ingrained in our society and is not going anywhere in the near future.
A woman named Ayesha was found dead in a water tank in her home in Karachi on February 15, 2022. Her husband and in-laws were arrested on suspicion of her murder. The police said Ayesha had been strangled to death. According to a newspaper report, Ayesha’s husband and in-laws had been demanding more dowry from her family and that she had been subjected to physical and emotional abuse.
Another dowry case that was highlighted in the media was of Fatima. She was burned to death in the kitchen of her home in Lahore on January 20, 2021. Her husband and in-laws were also arrested on suspicion of murder. The police said that Fatima had been doused in kerosene and set on fire. An esteemed newspaper reported that Fatima’s husband and in-laws had been unhappy with the dowry that her family had given and that they had set her on fire in a fit of rage.
Another reputed newspaper reported a dowry-related case that took place in Rawalpindi on December 15, 2020. Zainab’s husband and in-laws had been threatening to kill her if she did not bring more dowry, and they had strangled her to death when she refused. Zainab was strangled to death in her bedroom; her husband and in-laws were also arrested on suspicion of murder. The police said that Zainab had been strangled with a rope. These reported cases in the media are just the tip of the iceberg. It is well known that thousands of cases of dowry violence are not even reported due to fear of retaliation from the in laws, lack of trust in the police and the judicial system or simply due to cultural or societal pressures.