Diary of a Social Butterfly

Diary of a Social Butterfly
Aik tau looking after houses is also such a headache, na. One day flush is not working. You call the plumper and get that fixed tau next day the generator breaks down. You call the bijli wallah and get that fixed tau third day the television goes tthup.

Uff! I tell you it’s endless. And oopar say everyone acts as if it’s my fault. ‘Why is the TV not working?’ asks Janoo jabbing at the remote. Bhai, how do I know? Am I some kind of electrician? Or a sky kick who can see things that other people can’t? Haan? Yesterday he snapped: ‘Did you know that the paint is flaking off the wall in the sitting room?’

‘Haan,’ I said. ‘Well?’ ‘Well what?’

‘Well, why is it flaking?’

‘I think so because wall is wet.’

‘Why is it wet?’

‘Because it rained. Barsaat.’

‘But why is only that wall flaking? Surely every wall must get wet equally?’ Then tau I lost it. ‘Because I stand there every day,’ I yelled, ‘throwing water at that wall. That’s why only that wall is flaking. Okay?’

He told me that there was no need for mellow drama. He just thought I needed to get a painter to come fix it. Period. I told him I’d already called Samuel. ‘So why hasn’t he come?’

‘Because he’s working on some other job right now. And he’s not my chacha’s son, okay, that he’s going to drop everything and rush to my aside the minute I call him.’

‘Fine!’ declared Janoo. ‘I’ll find another painter.’ So this morning Janoo proudly brought a painter to the house as if he’d just rediscovered a species scientists had declared succinct. Painter took one look at the wall and said wall was geela because of rains and we had to wait for wall to become sookha before he could do anything. Janoo asked him why it was just that wall that had become geela? Painter raised his eyes to the sky and said, ‘Who knows His ways?’ And then he put on his shoes and left.