As our viewing habits continue to evolve in an era dominated by national TV channels, YouTube, Netflix, Prime, and HBO, one constant remains: our enduring love for love stories. Across generations, the fascination with romance and the idea of intimacy remains at the heart of our collective consciousness. Women, in particular, constitute a significant portion of the TV-watching audience, consistently drawn to tales of love, passion, and connection.
Yet, there’s a troubling pattern in the portrayal of intimacy on television. TV dramas often suggest that romantic relationships only thrive between young couples, typically those in their 20s or 30s. Beyond that, the narrative shifts to portray relationships as dull, devoid of passion, and dominated by the monotony of daily responsibilities—jobs, children, household chores—suggesting that intimacy and romance are reserved for the younger years. Surprisingly, we, as an audience, have largely accepted this narrow portrayal, rarely pausing to question or challenge the reality it presents.
This accepted narrative makes it all the more striking when we encounter a story that deviates from the norm, offering a fresh, nuanced perspective on love and intimacy. One such example is Tan Man Neel o Neel, a production by the renowned Sultana Siddiqui Productions, written by the supremely talented, Mustafa Afridi and directed by Saifee Hassan. This drama not only challenges conventional norms but also provides a refreshing portrayal of love that defies age, reintroducing us to the possibility of meaningful connections at any stage of life.
In Tan Man Neelam o Neel, one of the central couples—neither youthful nor elderly, but middle-aged—are portrayed by two of our most accomplished actors, Nadia Afghan and Noman Masood. The drama subtly yet powerfully explores the often-overlooked emotional toll that comes when women are denied love, attention, and intimacy within their relationships.
Nadia Afghan’s character, a housewife from a modest middle-class background, is bound by societal expectations to serve her husband’s needs at all times, her existence reduced to a role of constant subservience. In an era where modern, emancipated women have come to expect more, this narrative might seem troubling at first. Yet, the way the story unfolds is remarkably different. Rather than portraying this woman as a victim of her circumstances, the show presents her as resilient—remaining positive and making the best of her seemingly mundane life. Her personal sacrifices are tempered by her support for her daughter, whom she encourages to pursue financial independence and a life outside of traditional gender roles.
In this portrayal, the audience is offered a refreshing reprieve from the stereotypical image of the “roti, dhoti aurat” giving viewers a nuanced, more relatable depiction of a woman who, despite her limitations, continues to inspire and empower the next generation.
These are the people that we routinely see in our lives in the form of aunties and uncles, who deliberately distance themselves around people, because intimacy is so brutally owned by the young only
TMNON is very effectively telling us that patriarchy does not only crush a woman’s liberty, freedom and choice, but also stifles the desires and aspirations of a man. Both are the victims of the same old years of systemic patriarchy that gets nurtured and encouraged n the garb of religion, traditions and cultural norms. Hence, our societies carry this generational trauma caused by suffocating and toxic patriarchal norms.
Therefore, it comes a no surprise in TMNON when Noman Masood’s character is not given the right to choose the life partner he desires and he surrenders to the fancies of his family pressures and continues to live a quiet, empty live to let the time pass in painful silence. Yet these two unlikely people carve out a path, that starts with gentle baby steps by Nadia Afghan’s character making the first move - often dismissed by our society with the view that only cheap, low character women can have desires and desirability. TMNON defies that and challenges this norm and goes two steps further down the road, that not only a woman would come forward to want intimacy but also at any age, its her right to come forward and demand this very basic and cardinal need. The need to be loved, to be wanted, to be desired to be celebrated. Both the actors are NOT the main leads of TMNON yet within 4 minutes of screen time, they have delivered the most cherished and loved intimacy between a middle-aged couple.
These are the people that we routinely see in our lives in the form of aunties and uncles, who deliberately distance themselves around people, because intimacy is so brutally owned by the young only. Middle-aged people have desires, emotions, depth, wants and needs. Their stories must come to the mainstream foray as well.
The entire drama industry needs to sit together and reflect upon the mistakes they have been making in the past by boxing middle aged actors and characters into stereotypical categories of quiet and dead boring lifeless characters. These supporting actors deserve better etched characters with depth, intellect, arc, and above all high pivots that aid in taking the narrative forward, thereby engaging the audience in an immersive and effective manner.
Currently, we have a severe dearth of good writers in our drama industry. The drama industry which is dominated by the production houses and channels, will have to collaborate as the primary stakeholders of this industry and invest in writers as well - and in doing so, bring newer talents and fresher ideas to the table and give them a chance to showcase their stories. Simultaneously, our seasoned and veteran actors must be utilised in the most effective manner as well.
In recent times, we have seen a slight shift in the kind of stories coming forward. Be it a deeply nuanced Raqeeb Se, or a very sensitive Kabuli Pulaao, slowly but gradually, some drama makers are inching towards newer ideas. Now with TMNON, we see a highly crisp story-telling that pushing the envelop in terms of performance and overall direction, keeping the audiences hooked to the story. TMNON's team deserves a huge round of applause to break the glass ceiling of patriarchal controls, telling an intimate story which is so endearing, so palpable and yet so effective and accepted by the audiences at large.