Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Taliban have formed government – it is cent per cent Quetta Shoora. Sans of the tams. I am in exile and I damn care but those who seek to run Pakistan should read these sans of the tams and adjust accardingly. Remember Taliban spokesmen Shahidullah Shahid and Ihsanullah Ihsan? Well, it is tam for Pakistani rulers to remodel themselves on that same pattren.

Hello, Imranullah Imran, are you listening? Please take direction from Generalullah General and order everyone to conform. That includes Fawadullah Fawad, Shirinullah Shirin, Shaftullah Shafto, Asadullah Asad and all other members of cabinetullah cabinet.

Faujullah Faujis are banging armpits – baghleiN baja rahay heiN – that their darling Taliban have swept to power and all will be fine in Afghanistan now. Please wait and see. Their path is littered with obstentacles which is worst than obstacles and tentacles. Afghans have troubled history (them) and troublesome geography (us). Once, Afghan delegation came when I was PM. Hamid Karzai came to Islamabad wearing his green silk dressing gown. “Good night, Your Excellency”, I said. He took off gown and put it around my shoulders. “Here, you have it. Now we are brothers”. General Saab was also there. “More like ‘bothers’, not brothers”, he whispered to another fauji. I overheard but Shbaz Saab said, “I.G.N.O.R.E”. I snapped back at him, “you think they can’t spel?”

Then I hissed, “I overheard that nasty remark”. Shbaz Saab, ever their apologist said, “Far God sake, bhaijan, sometimes please underhear also.”

At lunch for Afghan delegation there were kebabs, rice, salad, raita and the best fruit juice because I had heard that Afghans love good fruit. Even Babar Badshah, the first Mughal, missed Afghani fruit when he came to India. The Afghans kept staring at the juice. “Why are you staring at the juice, brother?” I asked Karzai. “Because it says ‘CONCENTRATE’”. I see, I said. “When will Pakistan stop meddling in Afghanistan?” he asked me. I turned to General Saab, “When will Pakistan stop meddling in Afghanistan, General Saab?”

Lo-o-o-ong and painful silence.

Nawazullah Nawaz