Listen to the silence
Sir,
We know and understand that ‘actions speak louder than words’. We observe and talk about the body language and behaviour of others. We communicate our own emotions through actions. We expect obedience, humbleness, kindness and honesty from others. Especially, parents, teachers and elders have great expectations when it comes to their children. They want the best for them and expect that in return they become good human beings and fulfill their wishes. This attitude is universal. In spite of all this, heartbreaking incidents do occur. Teenagers and even children are involved in suicides, kidnappings, drugs, theft, bullying, harassment and terrorism. These incidents are reported each day and should be an eye opener for us all.
A recent incident of students being involved in using crackers to create panic in schools needs to be taken seriously. The other incident of a teenager committing suicide after being denied the right to appear in an examination has raised alarm bells. Each and every tragedy raises so many questions if we introspect and observe. The big question is why is this happening? We cannot always blame external factors for the negative attitudes prevailing in our society. It is our responsibility as well, which is being denied and overlooked. How much time do we give to children and the youth? How concerned are we about their activities and interests? How do we know about their developmental needs? How much do we listen to them and take their concerns seriously? How much do we know about their education requirements and extracurricular activities? Why we take their comments and observations as ‘childish’ or ‘influenced’ by others? Why do we stop to listen when they do not talk like we want them to say? Why do we not listen and understand their silent behaviour? We feel satisfied and happy when they are busy in playing games or watching TV or sitting at home.
What is happening today with our children and youth is the result of suppressed anger, frustration, unworthiness, loneliness and emptiness inside. They do not understand the love of elders and we do not understand their love for us. This communication gap is a problem. The only solution is to bridge and overcome this gap through love and care. Listen to them. Speak to them. Trust them and do not discuss their behaviours or concerns in front of others. Children as well as teenagers hate this attitude and feel like they are not being taken seriously. This leads to withdrawn behavior, which makes them more vulnerable to negative thinking.
Instead of getting confused, the simple answer to all these problems is awareness and action. Awareness to the extent to understand our own potential to handle the situation and also to know the requirements and needs of children. Young children mostly learn and understand through informal talks, storytelling and chatting where they do not feel threatened. Teenagers on the other hand want to be seen as grownups and responsible people struggling to handle their problems themselves. They need support and assurance that elders are there to listen to no matter what. The bond between young and elders need to be so strong that there is a feeling of belongingness and care. This can only happen when we focus on our family system and strengthen it through sacrifice, dedication and care.
Fauzia Sardar,
Islamabad.
National security and democracy
Sir,
Reference Tariq Khosa’s article, “Power of the Establishment” (Feb 22) published in another daily. It is time that for the sake of posterity and sacrifices of over 1 million refugees, massacred while crossing border in 1947 and our valiant brave soldiers who laid down their lives protecting the sanctity of their motherland, that those at the helm understand that Pakistan should be a modern welfare state and not a garrison state, nor a fiefdom of men blinded by insatiable greed for ill-gotten wealth.
There should be limits on abuse of power under the garb of welfare and the fact that in a nation state, it is the collective good of the people that must have priority over misplaced institutional egos or greed of vested interests. When land mafia dons who openly claim to put “wheels on files” have access to the establishment and corridors of power, it is time to wake up. Ever since the Quaid’s death, this country has suffered numerous humiliations, from dismemberment, to having its sovereignty bartered by dictators like Zia, who allowed mercenaries and terrorists to be housed in our country, displacing millions, and hundreds of thousands in fatalities. Yet no individual or group has been punished for their treacherous pursuits. What can be a more naked abuse of power than the NRO, which neither law or ethics can justify?
Those who acquire power through the ballot must understand that the constitution grants powers placing limits on its exercise. The five-year elected tenure is not a license or contract reducing this country to a fiefdom, granting unchecked powers to make a mockery of laws, or giving powers to appoint cronies and facilitate a few traders in tax evasion.
The paid uniformed and civil establishment of this country must understand that they are hired to serve and protect the lives and honor of citizens, not convert diminishing green agriculture belts on periphery of major cities into concrete jungles for commercial gains with devastating consequences. There should be laws disqualifying any individual with split loyalties, whose children and assets are located outside from holding elected or paid public office. Why should any government select individuals as ambassadors or intermediaries making them eligible for constitutional posts, who have pledged an oath of loyalty to another country renouncing their previous held allegiance?
Malik Tariq,
Lahore.
Minority dictates decisions
Sir,
Pakistan is probably the only country in the world where a small segment of the population imposes its views on the majority; the latter readily acquiesced to avoid confrontations. The PTI-majority government was all set to introduce shirt trouser as a uniform for boys, studying in government schools, in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, the implementation was stopped due to opposition from the coalition partner, JI, whose MPAs are in a minority. Again, the JI MPAs have recommended the removal from the textbook of a picture depicting the father whose attire in shirt and trouser is considered an invasion of Western culture. Similarly, a chapter on Helen Keller, a symbol of humanity at its zenith, was removed from the textbook for the author being a non-Muslim, on the advice of minority members of the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Assembly, the JI.
The majority of compatriots welcome the dispensation of anti-polio drops to children; a misled minority however has become a stumbling block in the campaign.
The criteria for righteousness is determined and dictated by those who wield street power while the majority has to, meekly, toe those lines. The minority is the authority in this land of the pure, but no political party has made its manifesto to change this order, including the Oxford-educated Imran Khan.
Sayed GB Shah Bokhari,
Peshawar.
Mega political confusions
Sir,
Ever since the days of misrule of the late Ghulam Muhammad, ex-governor general of Pakistan, a chain of political waywardness in different garbs has brought the country’s image at the lowest ebb of governance. There is no period of respite or a sign of recovery in this confused scenario that can open a window of hope and redemption. Having hit an abyss of continued misrules, the leaders at the helm of affairs are still in a state of deep slumber and unmindful of adverse consequences that can leave us in the pages of history as a failed state. The latest example was a dismal and pathetic picture of the PM publically accusing the prestigious institution of NAB, thus directly displaying a style of mis-governance. Do not wash your dirty linen in public and hang it too for the comity of nations to laugh at us. Regrettably and unfortunately, the whole nation is aghast on the poverty and paucity of intellect of the ruling classes clinging to their personal glorification at the cost of national integrity. It seems the rulers have shut all avenues of wisdom at their command and are marching ahead with no vision for the future of the country.
Please wake up to learn and grasp the meaningful sentiments of masses and not your own views of pathetical dreams. The timely diplomatic warning by the ISPR that the process of check and balances will be maintained was the need of the hour, reflecting the aspirations and wishes of the masses in general. Will it be wrong to assume that oligarchic rulers and political oppositions are misusing the name of democracy for their self aggrandizement?
MA Tirmizi,
Islamabad.
Psychological impact of terror
Sir,
The act of terrorism at educational institutions is a tragedy, which has long-term effects as it is psychologically related to emotional wellbeing. Very young children do not understand the reason of such heinous crimes. Then there are the teenagers who may understand the reason but do not comprehend ruthless targeting. The students, as well as children, who in reality or are exposed to incidents through media need special care and depth of understanding to overcome the trauma and be a part of normal life again. The sufferers go through a period of shock, and need assurance and support. A natural healing process is going to help, but it will take some time.
At this stage, the role of educational and child psychologists who are practically involved in teaching and counseling children to cope with traumatic experiences may help. They can understand the mindset of children and by utilising various techniques minimise negative effects. Children should be provided opportunities to discuss, write or draw what thy feel about the incident. They also need comfort from parents and family members. Children and teenagers may adopt behaviours that may seem ‘childish’ to adults but they are important for catharsis. Let them cry if they want to. Do not stop them by saying they are grown ups. Parents own groups where they can share the grief of others and discuss how to overcome the psychological trauma may be of significance. Events can be organised to let them share their experiences and views.
Our society is different from the western world. On the tragic event of 9/11, the US asked for help from psychologists all over the world; the reason being that they have a weak family system. They need support of counselors and psychiatrists at every level from home to workplace. Psychologists are appointed at educational institutions to look after the welfare of students. On the other hand, we have a strong faith, which is a binding force. Then we have a joint and extended family system where grandparents close family members, parents and siblings are a great support. They are the best counselors. They may also sometimes need awareness and guidance. At present media managers do not understand that the presentation of crime and terrorist events through reenactment are not suitable for children and teenagers. The incidents of suicide, harassment, kidnap and other immoral activities are increasing due to such displays of situations. The media can play a vital role to counter negative effects by giving relevant information through talk shows or organising discussion forums.
Niazi Fauzia,
Islamabad,
Tax free and accountability free
Sir,
It seems an ideal choice of residency and buying assets beyond their declared sources of income, for the ruling elite and powerful members of civil and khaki establishment, is a popular Gulf state. This is where most of our super bureaucrats, federal ministers, retired generals, land mafia dons, corrupt politicians and traders have invested billions. Why not declare Pakistan a tax free haven for all those who posses black money and go a step further giving them immunity for criminal offences. In any case, there has never been any punishment and prosecution for high profile criminals involved in heinous crimes of murder such as the brutal killing of Shahzeb or Hamza of Karachi, or more recent public massacre by Mustafa Kanju in Lahore Cantonment, and lest we forget, the mayhem of Karachi Baldia Factory where over 270 laborers were burnt alive because the owners refused to pay ransom to powerful criminal mafia. This would save billions in administrative costs incurred on police, customs, FIA, NAB, FBR etc., which could be invested in building luxurious gated housing societies with all facilities offered by popular desert state.
Aneela Chandio,
Sukkur.
CDA’s clarification needed
Sir,
It has become a very common practice in the commercial area of Islamabad that multinationals/local companies/universities/banks and others do openly reserve the parking space in front of their respective plazas/ offices/ shops and do not allow public to park cars/bikes in “reserved space”. I do not think that the CDA sells the parking space to purchasers of plazas/shops/offices. If this is the situation, then the CDA must ensure the parking space for all by surprise visits of teams concerned, and if the case is not like as I think then I request to CDA chairman to make immediate clarification for the safety of the general public and to secure the rights of the purchaser of the parking space.
Khalid Mustafa,
Islamabad.
PTCL disconnecting
Sir,
Pakistan Telecommunication Limited (PTCL) is the only internet service provider in the entire Makran region of Balochistan, where DSL and EVO services are available in most of the districts of Balochistan, as being the largest province of Pakistan, which is huge in size as comprises 43% of the land mass of the country. But, today, it is completely suffering from internet connectivity problems, where the PTCL is performing poorly and users are unable to do anything with the internet and mostly the people from almost every walk of their lives are dependent on the use of internet for the performance of their duties. In fact, most of the official work, such as banks, bill management, news reporting and educational institutes are unable to perform their basic duties. Since these all are carried out through the internet, because of the disruption of internet, we are facing multiple problems in daily basis.
So, I humbly request the authorities concerned to take serious action against PTCL and to resolve the problem of internet before much longer.
Shakeel Phullan,
Turbat.
Success against polio
Sir,
It is positive news that Pakistan has notched up notable success in the battle to eliminate polio, as it rang out the year 2015. The success against polio lies in the drastic drop in the number of fresh polio cases, if compared with those of a year ago; polio cases have declined from the 306 recorded in 2014 to 51 in 2015, which seems the lowest-ever count recorded since 2009. This surely constitutes an essential milestone in the fight against the scourge that leaves its victims to little children crippled for life. The year 2014 has proved to be the worst in more than a decade in terms of registering an incredibly high number of new polio cases.
So, I really appreciate the tremendous attempts of the polio teams who have decreased polio cases in the country, and the success against the polio disease was an appreciable development for the country, and we hope that our country would be a polio-free country very soon.
Shakeel Phullan,
Turbat.