Let me explain a few things to you. If the Opposition does it, it’s corruption. If I do it, it’s justice. Like for instance in the Senate elections. If the Opposition induces my MNAs to vote for their candidate, it’s bribery. If The Boyz coerce their MNAs to vote for my candidate, it’s necessity. If the secret ballot works for me, it’s good. If the secret ballot works for the Opposition, it’s evil. And if you don’t understand the difference, you’re unpatriotic.
I would also like to make it absolutely clear that I am not stupid. No, really. You have to take my word for that. I know what’s been going on. Half-heartedly, because there’s nothing more The Boyz want than for me to succeed, they distanced themselves from me ever so slightly. This they did because the dastardly Opposition started naming and shaming them for the disaster that is our hybrid regime. After they shifted on their feet, you saw what disasters unfolded. There were all those by-elections that I lost so comprehensively. The ECP suddenly grew a spine and began to call a spade a spade. My despairing MNAs went and voted for Yusuf Raza Gilani. So, I stomped my feet and screamed my head off. Don’t you remember my speech in Parliament? That was ME reading out the riot act to The Boyz.
And that, my friends, was enuff! The next day, they went into overdrive, grabbed my disobedient MNAs by the scruff of their necks and the rest, as they say, is victory. Furthermore, I told them (while I had my them where I wanted them) “you can take the Chaudhries and shove them where the sun don’t shine!” There’s no way I’m letting go of Takht Lahore. “Are you sure?” they asked tentatively. In that instant, I picked up the phone and told my operator, “Get me Nawaz Sharif on the phone asap”. Bus, they sprang to attention and set to work for my enduring success.
Im the Dim
I would also like to make it absolutely clear that I am not stupid. No, really. You have to take my word for that. I know what’s been going on. Half-heartedly, because there’s nothing more The Boyz want than for me to succeed, they distanced themselves from me ever so slightly. This they did because the dastardly Opposition started naming and shaming them for the disaster that is our hybrid regime. After they shifted on their feet, you saw what disasters unfolded. There were all those by-elections that I lost so comprehensively. The ECP suddenly grew a spine and began to call a spade a spade. My despairing MNAs went and voted for Yusuf Raza Gilani. So, I stomped my feet and screamed my head off. Don’t you remember my speech in Parliament? That was ME reading out the riot act to The Boyz.
And that, my friends, was enuff! The next day, they went into overdrive, grabbed my disobedient MNAs by the scruff of their necks and the rest, as they say, is victory. Furthermore, I told them (while I had my them where I wanted them) “you can take the Chaudhries and shove them where the sun don’t shine!” There’s no way I’m letting go of Takht Lahore. “Are you sure?” they asked tentatively. In that instant, I picked up the phone and told my operator, “Get me Nawaz Sharif on the phone asap”. Bus, they sprang to attention and set to work for my enduring success.
Im the Dim