Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

List of banned groups removed from the web


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Reported in Jang (February 6, 2015) the National Counter Terrorism Authority has removed the list of banned organizations from its website. There is now no way to determine which organizations have officially been banned in Pakistan.

Senator Zahid Khan has changed 24 drivers 


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According to Nai Baat (February 6, 2015) Senator Zahid Khan, chairman of the Senate Standing Committee on Water and Power, has changed 24 drivers so far. Drivers do not want to work with him because of his non-serious (ghair sanjeeda) behavior.

Qawwali singer robbed outside his house 


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Express reports (February 7, 2015) famous Qawwali singer Sikandar Miandad and his younger brother Ali Badar were robbed outside their home in Lahore. Two men on a motorcycle took their mobile phones and cash at gunpoint when they were standing outside their house in Sabzazar locality.

Minister disqualified for having two identity cards


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A provincial minister in Punjab was disqualified by an election tribunal in Multan for having two identity cards, reports Jang (February 7, 2015). Abdul Waheed Arain said he would challenge the decision in the Supreme Court.

Hundreds of cellphone SIMs discovered in garbage


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Reported in Dunya (February 8, 2015) hundreds of mobile phone SIMs were discovered on a garbage heap in an empty plot in DHA. Intelligence officials have seized the SIMs and began a probe. Local police said it did not know of the discovery.

PML-N workers chant ‘Go Nawaz Go’ 


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According to Nawa-e-Waqt (February 8, 2015) a woman worker of the PML-N began to chant ‘Go Nawaz Go’ by mistake during a demonstration outside an election tribunal in Lahore. When she was made to realize her mistake, she began to apologize. A man man came to defend her, but his tongue also slipped.

Transgenders showered with fake money


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Dunya reports (February 9, 2015) three transgenders who danced all night at a wedding in Badiyana were shocked (hawas bakhta) to find out in the morning that the money they were being showered with was fake. They went to the police station in protest.

Jamshed Dasti will lead ‘Cycle March’ to Islamabad


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Quoted in Express (February 9, 2015) famous politician Jamshed Dasti says he will lead a ‘Cycle March’ towards Islamabad in March. Upon reaching the capital, he will present two bills in the National Assembly – one for death penalty for corruption, and the other for stopping landlords and capitalists from taking part in politics.

PTI bans Abarul Haq from TV


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According to Dunya (February 10, 2015) Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf has banned its leader and famous singer Abrarul Haq from appearing in television talk shows for 15 days. He failed to represent the party in an appropriate manner (munasib andaz).

Donkey’s head and hooves in Islamabad trash can


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Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (February 10, 2015) citizens discovered a donkey’s head and hooves from a dumpster in the affluent G-6 sector of Islamabad. They are concerned (tashweesh ki leher) the donkey’s meat will be sold in the local market. CDA officials threw the head and hooves in the E-11 garbage dump.

Taj Mahal and Planning Commission 


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Quoted in Express (February 11, 2015) Water and Power Minister Khawaja Asif says if the Planning Commission existed in the Mughal Era, the Taj Mahal would never have been built. He blamed the Planning Commission for delays in new power projects.

Wedding performers protest against loudspeaker law


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Jang reports (February 11, 2015) wedding performers protested against the Loudspeaker Ordinance outside the Lahore Press Club. They said they were losing their livelihood because of the law.