That is the ending most of us want for everyone and young girls are brought up to believe that every relationship must have one. Is that even healthy? People grow, mature, and change and sometimes, might not want a happily ever after. Is that even important? The quality of time spent together is far more important than the length, I believe. Maybe that is one of the lessons that we have learned from this pandemic that time is fleeting and unpredictable, so every moment must be treasured and savoured.
“Happily ever after” can be used in the context of any relationship, be it personal or professional. Every relationship has its ups and downs and the ride is never smooth. However, the bumpy parts of the relationship and the ability to traverse those only make the relationship stronger and sturdier. Most relationship graphs level off after a while and either stay constant or decline.
The different phases of life are like the chapters of a book. School, college, university, work, marriage, and so on are the various chapters of our life. At each stage, we learn, unlearn, and relearn. Life experiences also impact the nature of relationships. Our experiences, more than anything else, mold and shape us into the individuals we become. Relationships must have the strength and capacity to stand the test of time and a lot depends on the individuals concerned.
Sitting together comfortably in silence is also an indicator of a healthy relationship where a lot is unsaid but understood. Words do not need to fill the vacuum and neither are they important or necessary. Sometimes, all people need is a sympathetic ear or a helping hand.
People change, and not always, for the better. However, there might be many life experiences which are responsible for that change. It is far better to have a short and sweet relationship than to drag relationships for years and flog dead horses
Our needs vary with each chapter of our life. Often, when we look back, it is hard to believe the kind of individual we were and often, that seems like a chapter from somebody else’s book. Life is stranger than fiction, it is often said. Longevity in a relationship is not always prioritised. If at a point in time and this happens frequently, you feel that the person you had so much in common with now seems like a stranger, this is perfectly natural. The life cycle of that relationship is over but that does not mean that at another point in time, it cannot be reignited or rekindled. Relationships and individuals are forever changing because change is the only constant.
People change, and not always, for the better. However, there might be many life experiences which are responsible for that change. It is far better to have a short and sweet relationship than to drag relationships for years and flog dead horses. I wish more people would understand that. People grow apart and so do couples. Rather than needlessly dragging a dead relationship, it is better to move on, especially if that relationship has grown toxic.
Sometimes, you have to agree to disagree and if that can be done healthily and positively without any acrimony or animosity, so much the better. I am by no means advocating severing relationships at the first sign of trouble but some relationships like everything else in life run their natural course and once two individuals feel that it is far healthier for them not to be together, that should be accepted as their decision. Once something is past its expiry date, it becomes toxic.
Relationships require a constant investment of your time and energy. They have to be kept alive and nurtured just like children. The dynamics keep changing as more and more people are added to the equation. Value and foster relationships within the immediate family before looking outside but do accept that not all relationships can be salvaged after a point and it is better to gracefully back off rather than flog a dead horse.
“Happily ever after” is a myth and an illusion that we like to believe to delude ourselves. Human beings are constantly changing and relationships are constantly evolving. As mentioned, relationships require a constant investment of your time and energy but this cannot be one-sided; it has to be mutual. Sometimes, it is far easier talking to strangers than your relatives because there is no history or excess baggage that holds you back. Any relationship whether between spouses or siblings is a work in progress and has to be worked at. Only parents love their children unconditionally (although even they are bound to lean more towards those who respond more) but all other relationships require a constant investment of your time and energy. Very few stand the test of time and as mentioned, there is no happily ever after in anything.
However, if both sides are determined to make the relationship work, there can be a “happily ever after” but it is hard work. It all depends on how committed you are and how much you value the relationship. It is never evenly balanced so if you enter a relationship with the expectation that the same amount of time and effort will be invested from both sides, you are setting yourself up for failure. Generally, in our society, in a marital relationship, women end up compromising more and are expected to also. The romantic illusions harboured at the beginning very quickly evaporate when the practicalities of life rear their head.
So, in conclusion, if you want a “happily ever after”, be ready to make countless sacrifices and compromises and sometimes, be ready to walk alone also for perfection is a myth and only sets people up for disappointments. No pain, no gain so be committed, and dedicated, and remember walking alone only strengthens you but sometimes has to be done to take you closer to your “happily ever after.”