Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Donkey hide and seek


Reported in Dunya (July 2, 2015) unidentified men stole and killed five donkeys in a town near Lahore and ran away with their hides. Police said they would probe the matter after Ramzan because they did not have enough men.

Bilawal will learn Urdu from Shehla Raza


According to Nawa-e-Waqt (July 2, 2015) Sindh Assembly deputy speaker Shehla Raza has been tasked to correct People’s Party chairman Bilawal Bhutto’s Urdu. She will give him daily lessons.

Not cricket 


Express reports (July 3, 2015) two teams playing a cricket match in Burki area of Lahore began to beat each other with bats and wickets after a quarrel. Six men were injured in the fight. Police visited the site to collect evidence.

Baby boom in UP


Jang reports (July 3, 2015) after the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh announced a Rs 1,400 stipend for new mothers, a 60-year-old woman claimed having five babies in 10 months. Another woman who hadn’t had a baby in the 12 years since her marriage claimed having three children in four months.

Ali Haider declines to perform with Shehzad Roy


According to Dunya (July 4, 2015) famous singer Ali Haider declined to perform with Shehzad Roy. He had been asked by an NGO to sing in their show, but he said he would not participate in an event where there is Shehzad Roy.

Dead or alive?


Reported in Express (July 4, 2015) the people of Gulshan-e-Iqbal neighborhood in Lahore were frightened (khauf-o-hiraas phail gya) by rumors that a man who had died in May was shouting in his grave asking people to take him out. People gathered at the cemetery and called 15. Police arrived at the grave and listened for the voice, but could not hear any.

Reham Khan couldn’t find any heat victims 


Express says (July 5, 2015) Reham Khan visited a hospital in Karachi to meet sun stroke patients after the extreme heat wave in Karachi, but could not find even one. The PTI chairman’s wife said government officials should get out of their air conditioned offices to realize what the poor go through, but she also admitted she had taken too long to visit a hospital.

Punjab couldn’t deport madrassa students with expired visas


Jang reports (July 5, 2015) the Rs 33.5 million set aside for deporting foreign madrassa students with expired visas lapsed because the government could not make a decision. An officer said the Punjab government was ready to deport the students, but th e move was delayed (maamla khattai main parr gya) because a  permission from the federal government was not received.

Nuts, bolts and sleepers stolen from Lahore-Narowal railway track


Reported in Dunya (July 6, 2015) more than 200,0000 nuts and bolts and thousands of iron sleepers were stolen from the Lahore-Narwoal railway line. An inquiry that began six months ago has not been completed yet. Meanwhile, trains travel at 30 km/h on the track, and wobble (hichkolay).

ISIS literature seized from university in Islamabad


According to Nai Baat (July 6, 2015) the Islamic International University in Islamabad seized ISIS flags, literature and disks from its campus, but hid the matter from police and intelligence agencies. The university hosts students from 40 different countries. There is a large number of private guests living in its hostel illegally.