Such Gup

Such Gup

Deal breaker

It was a deal breaker, a summons from the NABbers to the First Daughter. In consultation with The Man of Steel, she decided to go to the appointed place in strength. Then there was a flurry of phone calls. First to Talented Bro, “tell her to stay away. No need to attend. We will postpone the hearing”. The Man of Steel’s Talented Bro conveyed the message to his niece. No can do, she said politely. In desperation, they called her pater, The Man of Steel. Please ask her to stay away. She won’t, said The Man, unless you give it to her in writing. That they wouldn’t do, so she took her followers and made her way there. Thwarted, they sent out a Press Release, delaying the hearing.

No reply

After the Makedoom’s gaffe about Al-Brince of the Land of Sand, there was a flurry of diplomatic firefighting. Please recall The Makedoom’s press talk in which he made no bones about his government’s “disappointment” with one of our biggest benefactors. Their silence on Kashmir was deafening, he declared, and made us wonder where we should pitch our tent. This kind of public rebuke is unacceptable between states, not least for a country that prides itself on its leadership of the Ummah, and for its generosity to its “miskeen” brethren.

When the ess hit the fan, The Boyz asked the Makedoom to call his counterpart to apologize. No reply from the Land of Sand. They then asked The Great Khan to call Al-Brince to apologize. No reply. So then what could they do but pick up the pieces themselves? We hear “all has been settled” between our top gun and theirs. However, those who know Al-Brince say he is not one to turn the other cheek. He follows the tribal principle of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

Stars aligned

Did you know that an alignment of the stars is essential for the longevity of a regime? This is why the three gents who occupy the highest offices in the land — Prez, Premier & See Emm — all have  names beginning with ‘ain, that distinguished letter of the Urdu alphabet. And this is also why it’s not going to be easy to get rid of the ‘ain who sits upon Takht Lahore, no matter who his detractors.