SUCH GUP: Shady Bro

SUCH GUP: Shady Bro

Shady bro

Shambolic is not the word, for what passes for governance in the Punjab. Bozo The Clown, hapless and rudderless as he is, obeys first one order from Bunny Gala, then the next, then another from some other quarter, then yet another from an “investor”, a “stakeholder” and so on, ad nauseum. More often than not, these orders are at variance with each other. The latest chaotic round of orders goes like this: Her Holiness has a shady bro back in the boonies, a small time crook heading local qabza groups, “contract mafias” (those who milk public projects for commissions) and extortion rackets. The local District Police Officer was ordered by Bozo’s office (shock/horror) to detain and question Shady Bro’s front man, a bloke infamous for brazen venality. Doubtless, this order came from one of the “stakeholders” to Bozo’s office. No sooner had the front man been detained in by the district police, that another order arrived, this time from Her Holiness’ ex! Release the man, was the stentorian command. The police are at their wits’ end – which orders do they follow?

When, oh when?

A fly on the wall at a recent Karachi soiree had an interesting story to tell. Apparently, No. 1 has appointed a pal of his to head one of The Boyz’ largest business enterprises, and it’s the first time a “ruddy civilian” has had the signal honour. The same gent invited No 1 to his home of an evening, with the city’s bold and beautiful in attendance. One plucky lady turned to No 1 and said she wanted to ask a question. He was quick off the bat with his answer: no, am not going to impose ML. That’s not what I wanted to ask, she continued. When oh when, are we going to see the back of this hapless, useless crew?

The fly says No 1 admitted to “disappointment” with The Great Khan & Co, “distrust” of the “others”, except for the late lamented Big Ben’s Hubby, who is apparently “trusted”. The fly also relayed the message to Hubby, for whom it was undoubtedly meant.

Just desserts

Someone has become a nervous wreck, according to our mole. Over the last few years, the gent went out of his way to promote and protect The Great Khan and his horde, resorting to strong arm tactics, often crossing limits. Nothing was impossible, as far as he was concerned, to keep the Donkey Cart going. Countless critics and their families have suffered as a consequence, to say nothing of a country heaving under the consequences of a failed hybrid experiment. Well, it’s time for the reckoning – and in fear of his just desserts, Someone is seeking solace in pir/faqirs, anti-anxiolytics and, believe it or not, prayer!