Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Man caught throwing dirty pictures in a house


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Reported in Express (October 30, 2014) a man was caught throwing pornographic pictures and texts in a house in Kabirwala. He had been committing the act for a while, until the owner of the house and his friends ambushed him.

Rickshawala burns his vehicle over Rs 500 fine


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A rickshawala in Lahore burned his vehicle in protest after he was fined Rs 500 for carrying luggage on top of his rickshaw, Express reports (October 30, 2014). He was arrested by police.

Robbed pedestrian turns out a robber 


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Reported in Jang (October 30, 2014) a man in Mian Channu saw a thief run away with a pedestrian’s money. He decided to help the victim. They chased the thief on his motorcycle to a deserted place, where the robber and the robbed turned out to be partners. They took his mobile phone and all the money he had just withdrawn from the bank and ran away.

Constable arrested for teasing a lady health worker


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Reported in Express (October 31, 2014) a police constable was caught teasing (chhairr chhaarr) an anti-Dengue lady health worker. Police have registered a case against him.

Peshawar University student declines to take degree from governor


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Express reports (October 31, 2014) that during the Peshawar University convocation, a computer science student refused to take his degree from the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa governor citing political differences. He asked the vice chancellor to present him his degree. When the latter declined, he came down the stage shouting ‘Go Nawaz Go’.

Indian police stops Sonu Nigam from singing Muslim song


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According to Dunya (November 1, 2014) Indian police stopped famous singer Sonu Nigam from singing the song ‘Shukran Allah’ at a Hindu religious event in front a crowd of hundreds of thousands of people. They told him to sing a Hindu devotional song instead.

Burka-clad man arrested from shrine


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Security personnel at the shrine of Bibi Pakdaman in Lahore were suspicious of a burka-clad devotee and decided to check. He turned out to be a man and was arrested. He told police that he had vowed (mannat) that if his wish were fulfilled, he would visit the shrine in a burka. Upon hearing this, the police let him go (Nawa-e-Waqt, November 1, 2014).

Chief minister’s checks to hockey players bounce


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Reported in Dunya (November 2, 2014) the Punjab chief minister gave Pakistan’s hockey players Rs 200,000 each for their excellent performance in the Asian games, but the checks bounced. Shahbaz Sharif is unhappy (napasandeedgi ka izhar) and asked the authorities to personally apologize to every single player.

280 students on scholarship disappeared abroad


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According to Nai Baat (November 2, 2014), 280 of the 2,492 students who had been sent abroad on Pakistani scholarships in the last five years have disappeared. The Education Ministry is contacting their guarantors and has initiated court cases against 100 of them.

Doctor held for selling kidneys


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Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (November 2, 2014) police arrested a doctor who they say took out poor people’s kidneys and sold them. The kidney specialist was operating on a woman when they raided his operation theater, set up inside a house. He said the kidney was being taken out with the woman’s consent.

‘Muslims of the world unite’


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According to Dunya (November 3, 2014)  a famous cleric of Pakistan has written a letter to Muslim rulers all over the world asking them to start a common currency and set up a common defense force like NATO. He asked them to take their money out of Western banks, and set up a science and technology university to end Western hegemony on innovation.

‘Veiled women will protest against Imran Khan’


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Quoted in Nai Baat (November 4, 2014) JUI-F leader Maulana Abdul Ghafoor Haidri says PTI leader Shireen Mazari should prove she is a woman before she speaks for women’s rights. She does not look like a woman in her appearance (waza qata). If a handful of PTI women (chaar khawateen) will protest against Maulana Fazlur Rehman, thousands of veiled women (ba parda) will protest against Imran Khan.