Yesterday Ramzan the cook did a naagha. He sent a message to say he had fever and cuff but I think so he was all hail and hatty, watching his brand new TV in his quarter. I think so he’s bought the TV from all the choris he does from the kitchen ka kharcha. I’m sure he gets us big meat when I give him money for little meat. And broiler ka eggs instead of organic. I won’t be surprised tomorrow if he makes a lakh rupees ki donation to the Chief Justice’s dam fund from the kitchen ka kharcha. With his naaghas and nakhras, so many times I’ve thought of getting rid off him but then I remember his trifles and tarts and I think chalo, every rose has its thorns. Kulchoo also needs a bahana and because Ramzan had done a naagha, K sent for pizza.
But when pizza came, it was covered in cheese. Immediately I was flung into a dile amma. I mean being a pukka patriot, how could I eat cheese when Imran says our cheese ka kharcha is bangrupting us? How can we build Islamic welfare state if we don’t do bachat on cheese? China is great because it doesn’t eat cheese. Have you ever seen cheese on a Chinese menu? No na?
But how you can eat pizza if you don’t eat cheese? Should I scrape off the cheese? But then might as well eat a wet chappati. Then I thought Imran won’t know if I quietly eat this one cheesy pizza this one time. But then I thought; but Allah knows. Then I thought: does Allah mind? Has He ever said anything about cheese? It’s all Ramzan’s fault. If he hadn’t done a naagha I wouldn’t have had to eat this pizza and betray my country. Meanwhiles, the smell of melted cheese … I whispered, Allah maaf karay, and quickly gobbled it up. So delicious vaisay… tomorrow I’ll ban cheese. After I’ve fired Ramzan.
But when pizza came, it was covered in cheese. Immediately I was flung into a dile amma. I mean being a pukka patriot, how could I eat cheese when Imran says our cheese ka kharcha is bangrupting us? How can we build Islamic welfare state if we don’t do bachat on cheese? China is great because it doesn’t eat cheese. Have you ever seen cheese on a Chinese menu? No na?
But how you can eat pizza if you don’t eat cheese? Should I scrape off the cheese? But then might as well eat a wet chappati. Then I thought Imran won’t know if I quietly eat this one cheesy pizza this one time. But then I thought; but Allah knows. Then I thought: does Allah mind? Has He ever said anything about cheese? It’s all Ramzan’s fault. If he hadn’t done a naagha I wouldn’t have had to eat this pizza and betray my country. Meanwhiles, the smell of melted cheese … I whispered, Allah maaf karay, and quickly gobbled it up. So delicious vaisay… tomorrow I’ll ban cheese. After I’ve fired Ramzan.