Janoo is so depress, kay don’t even ask. He’s never been one of those ‘Kashmir hamara hai’ brigade like Mulloo’s husband Tony who’s always talked about it like it was a corner plot in Defence left to him by his Dada Jan. Janoo’s always said kay bhai Kashmiris have a right to decide for themselves and that they are owed a pebbly side. But I don’t think so even Janoo, who is Oxford pass as you know, imagined that BJP could behave like a qabza group and say bus it’s ours now. And for me, sub say worst, are those Indian goondas crowing kay now we can have our pick of fair fair Kashmiri girls. Could anything be more ghatiya, more chilling?
Vaisay, it’s not just Janoo who didn’t see it coming. Even our guvmunt didn’t. Or Pinky Pirni who aagay peechhay can see so much into the future. They’ve all gone into shock, like Aunty Pussy did when Jonker’s cheapster wife Miss Shumaila ran away with our family hairlooms. Only last month when Imran came back from his chukker to White House Mulloo called me up to crow on the phone like our maali’s rooster kay did I see how Imran went and conquered America? And Tony is saying kay Kashmir matter is also being sorted, Trump offered to meditate with India. So now I called her back and said, ‘If this had been Nawaz’s time and Moody had stolen Kashmir from under his nose, Imran would have been standing on a container, shouting himself horse about honour. The maulvis would’ve brought everything to a stan still. Where are the maulvis today, haan? Not ONE WORD out of them. And now that Imran’s PM himself, instead of showing eyes to Moody, what’s he doing to avenge Kashmir? He’s busy arresting Maryam Sharif and shutting up journalists! Wah bhai! What ghairat, what honour!’ She pretended she couldn’t hear me. ‘Line is very bad …’ Okay, I said, Janoo will call Tony then. ‘No, no,’ she said, ‘Tony’s gone to his lands.’ ‘I hope not the ones that Dada Jan left him?’ I replied.
Vaisay, it’s not just Janoo who didn’t see it coming. Even our guvmunt didn’t. Or Pinky Pirni who aagay peechhay can see so much into the future. They’ve all gone into shock, like Aunty Pussy did when Jonker’s cheapster wife Miss Shumaila ran away with our family hairlooms. Only last month when Imran came back from his chukker to White House Mulloo called me up to crow on the phone like our maali’s rooster kay did I see how Imran went and conquered America? And Tony is saying kay Kashmir matter is also being sorted, Trump offered to meditate with India. So now I called her back and said, ‘If this had been Nawaz’s time and Moody had stolen Kashmir from under his nose, Imran would have been standing on a container, shouting himself horse about honour. The maulvis would’ve brought everything to a stan still. Where are the maulvis today, haan? Not ONE WORD out of them. And now that Imran’s PM himself, instead of showing eyes to Moody, what’s he doing to avenge Kashmir? He’s busy arresting Maryam Sharif and shutting up journalists! Wah bhai! What ghairat, what honour!’ She pretended she couldn’t hear me. ‘Line is very bad …’ Okay, I said, Janoo will call Tony then. ‘No, no,’ she said, ‘Tony’s gone to his lands.’ ‘I hope not the ones that Dada Jan left him?’ I replied.