Such Gup

Such Gup

The contagion spreads 

Wags are saying India is becoming more and more like Pakistan, with its growing intolerance, bullying foreign policy, and violence against minorities. The similarities don’t end here, say the cynics. Indian textbooks contain information that is as ridiculous as some of the stuff purveyed in Pakistan to schoolchildren. Here are some examples: “They (non-vegetarians) easily cheat, tell lies, they (sic) forget promises, they are dishonest and tell (sic) bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes” (Class 6 Secondary Board of Education textbook). The textbook also encourages girls to get married between the ages of 18 and 25, “to get married without a bad name is a dream of every young girl”.

Then there’s the Gujarat Primary School Syllabus which enjoins that “the Indian map should include countries like Pakistan, Afghanistan, Nepal, Bhutan, Tibet, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and Burma”. All these countries, the syllabus maintains, are “part of Akhand Bharat. Undivided India is the truth, divided India is a lie. Division (sic) of India is unnatural and it can be united again.”

As if that were not enough, a social sciences textbook for class 8, published by the Gujarat Council of Educational Research & Training, says that “after Partition in 1947, a new nation was born, ‘Islamic Islamabad’ with its capital in ‘Khyber Ghat’ in the Hindukush Mountains”!

Welcome move 

We hear The Great Khan has decreed that six rest houses in the beautiful Galliyat of Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa should be turned into commercial properties, available for rent by individuals. Previously these rest houses were kept in pristine condition for the enjoyment of powerful officials, politicians and their families. The Khan’s welcome move has been grudgingly accepted by KP’s officials and the rest houses have been turned into commercial resorts.

“It’s all her fault”

Crybabies in The Man of Steel’s Lahori gang are crying foul. They say their candidate lost the provincial assembly by-election because of a crusading woman officer, who was simply doing her job, rooting out the rotten eggs from various food businesses. “It’s all her fault”, they’re wailing piteously, “proprietors turned against us because of her clean-up drive”. Grow up guys! The lady is much appreciated by the vast majority of Lahore’s citizens.