It’s my duty to inform you that the Coronavirus and its aftermath are very confusing things. Nobody in government could have seen it coming except for those who can read. Absorb. And think.

I’m being told that the aftermath will destroy Pakistan’s economy. Excuse me. That is just not correct. Total lies. Let me tell you that Pakistan’s economy has already been destroyed by me and my government. So it’s disgraceful to parrot this blatant lie put out by the Opposition. Nothing is going to happen to Pakistan’s economy because nothing is happening in Pakistan’s economy. It’s as simple as that. All the studies conducted in international universities have proved that for an economy to function, the head of government has to have the capacity to read the briefs presented to him/her (God forbid there’s ever a “her” again as head of the government of Pakistan), digest them and take timely decisions. Some of these briefs prepared by people like Hafeez Sheikh can run to two, three, maybe even four pages. For someone like me who gets all his information via whispers, gossip, chants, litanies and invocations, besides my own long-held duffer beliefs, briefs from Hafeez Sheikh are obviously useless. This should teach us some valuable lessons about the kind of briefs I like. I have always preferred the lacy black ones, and the briefer the better.

As of now, Pakistan’s economic future depends on one person being able to concentrate and understand, and that is a very big burden and a very tall order. And besides it’s all Nawaz Sharif’s fault.

And now I’m being discouraged from making yet another address to the nation. They’re saying it’s unsafe for me to open my mouth again and that it’s best to keep it closed and locked down. I’ve asked them when it might be safe to reopen it and they’re refusing to give me a date. They say they make good progress while my mouth is locked down and shut, and the nation suffers the moment it reopens. “Keeping your mouth shut is one thing that really helps. Sir”, they say, “we can’t risk it being opened again and causing more catastrophes.”

Im the Dim