Such Gup

Such Gup


The wife of a high government functionary was venting to a friend the other day. In classic Social Butterfly fashion, she said, “Uff! Ab to kaheen janay ko bhi dil naheen karta!” The friend, thinking COVID19 was limiting her mobility, clucked in sympathy, “Yes, I’m also staying home, terrified of infection”.

“Hai kaaash”, said the lady, “I swear, jidhar jaatay hain, itni gaali parhti hai, itni gaali, kay poochho he na! Sharm aati hai! So I’ve decided to stay home only!” (With apologies to TFT’s foreign readers).

Uneasy lies the head …

If we think our leaders are saddled with disabilities, let us acquaint you with what other influentials are afflicted with. BoJo, they say, has been a “recovering” alcoholic for years. We also know that he has anger management issues. Then, across the pond, there’s the septuagenarian Presidential hopeful who they say is suffering from mental incapacity (“he forgets his grandkids’ names etc.”) and will be managed by a capable team, if he wins. Then there’s the Moody one, our neighbour, who suffers from insomnia. Various veds over the years have recommended remedies but the results have been patchy. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

Seriously offended

We hear Al-Brince is seriously offended at The Great Khan’s various acts of omission and commission. The nosedive in relations began with the Kaula Lumpur summit and has gone further and further south. Insiders say that “the relationship has crumbled”. Meanwhile, Bobby & Co are Al-Brince’s trusted guards, with the rank and file being made up of our own retired commandos. The Brince lives in a den of vipers, given the animosities he has spawned.

Social distancing

It was suggested that “since the worst of COVID19 is over”, swimming pools should be allowed to reopen. The Khan’s government accepted the suggestion with the proviso that social distancing measures be strictly observed and it was decreed that “there will be no water in lanes one, three and five.”