Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Meray aziz humwatno, they are playing dirty with us. So now I have also engaged certain retired MI5 personnel to do some work far me. They sent transcripts of WhatsApp conversations (although encrypted, MI5 personnel were able to eyedrop) of members of this regime. I am sharing some of the tapes with you, meray aziz humwatno, so that you yourselves can judge that what tap of people they are.

Fust one was farceful voice of a man: “Madam, you know I am instructor, lecturer, minder and handler of all cabinet ministers. Naw, listen to me carefully. Fustly, haw you are?”

In reply there was wooman: “Alhamdolillah. After three months of drinking hot lemon water with honey, I have lost 5kg lemons and 1 kg honey. Aap sunayen?”

There was silence at other end for 2 to 3 scints. Finally, he said, “Madam, do not fight with people publicly and do not do mother-sister and certainly do not slap bloody cwilians although they deserve it.”

Naxt tape was between same man and another who was clearly Ruffian (Ruffia was a country of rough and ready types close to Russia. They say many from Punjab originally hail from Ruffia in Caucasus, now known as Cokeistan, also original home of Niazi tribe).

Farceful voice man: “Sir, you know I am instructor, lecturer, minder and handler of all parliamentarians. Naw, listen to me carefully. Fustly, haw you are?”

Ruffian: “I am ok, but don’t bother with us parliamentarians. Haven’t you heard Khan Saab saying multiple times that he will dissolve Assemblies if pushed to wall? You just tell me what you are doing about Navy Chief who is insisting on going to parents’ grave in submarine after Ear Chief went to his ancestral graveyard in heli.”

There was silence at other end for 4 to 5 scints. Finally, he said, “Sir, do not fight with parliamentarians publicly and do not do mother-sister and certainly do not throw budget book at Opposition although they deserve it.”

Ruffian replied: “I think it must have been the heat. It has come with a vengeance, as if after 22 years of struggle.”

NS