Such Gup

Such Gup


Sources say the Quaid-e-Qiwam, permanent resident of Her Majesty’s realm, has undergone a complete transformation. They say he’s lost 32 kg of weight and does a regular regimen of exercise lasting one hour and a half. He is also taking anger management courses and has resolved to stick closely to the 24/7 routine set by his doctors. This involves, other than exercise, long walks and clay pigeon shooting. He’s in regular touch with his only child, a daughter.


Received as forwarded: “We want to know why there are so many inconsistencies in some politicians’ declarations and yet they go scot free. Take the Guv who declared back in the day that he’d given up his foreign nationality in 2013 and yet his tax records showed that he retained it up until three years later. It’s also said that as a director of a multi-million pound company, he had declared himself to be a foreign national up until the autumn of 2016. And lest we forget, he was a Pakistani public office holder throughout this period.”

Sympathetic hearing

The lady doth protest too much and the Premier has been giving MM a sympathetic hearing in order to prevent her from airing her grievances in public. Our mole says she cried on his shoulders for three hours straight, complaining bitterly about the nikah that has gone unacknowledged, and the disrespect that has been her lot. It’s no secret that the Premier & Co are no fans of The Man of Steel’s Dar-ling and feel that M has been treated unfairly.