Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Nawaz’s hand


Senator Mushahidullah of the PML-N was quoted by Daily Jang (25 December 2017) as saying that ousted PM Nawaz Sharif had referred to Shahbaz Sharif for PM in conversations with journalists, but that he would keep the card of PM-ship to himself until the end.


Bold moves


Daily Express (25 December 2017) reported that a soldier of the FC had been arrested for taking a girl to the airport while wearing a colonel’s uniform, in an effort to impress her. The report stated that he aroused suspicion in the course of his efforts at the airport, and found himself apprehended.


Demarcating ideological frontiers


Leader of the Jamaat-e-Islami Siraj-ul-Haq took the position, according to Daily Nawa-i-Waqt (25 December 2017) that those who raised voices for liberalism and secularism in Pakistan, at the behest of global colonial powers, had no right to be in power. He further emphasised that those currently in power posed a threat to the ideological and geographical frontiers of the country.


Capping Khan’s ambitions?


The PML-N’s Ameer Muqam, according to Daily Nawa-i-Waqt (25 December 2017), stated that Imran Khan could not become Prime Minister merely by changing rings and caps.


War on Sheesha


Daily Express (26 December 2017) assured its readers that under Section 144, restrictions had been imposed on sheesha-smoking anywhere in Lahore, and that a special team had been created to enforce this.


Far-flung relations?


The President of PPP Sindh, Nisar Khuhro, according to Daily Nawa-i-Waqt (26 December 2017) speculated that Nawaz Sharif is Indian PM Narendra Modi’s relative, and that was why the PML-N government had allowed Kulbhushan Jadhav to meet his family.


HR innovations?


According to Daily Express (27 December 2017), a Chinese company has adopted the philosophy that slapping each other hard results in improved relations between co-workers. The report stated that the company, based on this approach, even arranged an annual event where its female employees competed at soundly slapping one another.


Battle-ready


Daily Dunya (31 December 2017) reported that Tahir-ul-Qadri’s new container was finally ready. It is painted in the colours of his party and allows for an emergency meeting to be organised within its space.


Musharraf lashes out


According to Daily Dunya (31 December 2017), former President General (r.) Pervez Musharraf alleged that Asif Ali Zardari had gotten Benazir Bhutto assassinated so as to take over her mantle in the PPP. The former strongman explained that he was irritated because the PPP leader had led slogans against him.


Berserk


Daily Dunya (31 December 2017) reported that some traffic wardens had run amok in Lahore. According to the report, two traffic wardens at Hall Road first beat a citizen on the street and then took him into a room to beat him more.


The Maulana and the Free Tribes


Commenting on the FATA merger process, Maulana Fazl-ur-Rehman, according to Daily Jang (31 December 2017), stated that the tribes were free (azad) and would remain so. He opined that Parliament had no right to include them in KP ‘by force’, and that if the freedom of the tribes was taken away, he was willing to go to jail right away.