Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Senate deputy chairman takes a rickshaw


According to Dunya (May 1, 2015) Senate deputy chairman Maulana Ghafoor Haideri arrived at the Qasimul Uloom seminary in Multan on a rickshaw. He said he had left his car and taken a rickshaw in order to end VIP culture.

Transformer stolen from electricity pole


Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (May 2, 2015) unidentified men stole a transformer from an electricity pole in Faizpur and ran away. As a result, power supply to the area was suspended.

Fisticuffs at PPP May Day rally


A disagreement broke out between People’s Party activists at a May Day rally in Lahore (ulajh parray), reports Express (May 2, 2015). As tempers rose, they used sticks to resolve it (dandon ka azadana istamaal). Several of them were injured.

LDA, tax department, seal each other’s premises


Dunya reports (May 3, 2015) the tax department sealed a parking plaza run by Lahore Development Authority saying it had not paid property tax. To get even, LDA sealed an office of Excise and Taxation saying they had not paid commercialization fee.

Fake cops rob Chinese citizen


Reported in Jang (May 3, 2015) a Chinese citizen was robbed by fake policemen in Lahore. They asked to check his belongings but ran away with cash that amounts to Rs 400,000.

Mute wedding guests mistaken for dacoits


According to Express (May 4, 2015) a group of four mute people went uninvited to a wedding dinner in Ahmadpur Lamma. When the host asked who they were and they could not answer, he thought they were thieves. He beat them up and gave them to the police.

Saudi police raids fake Aab-e-Zamzam factory 


Reported in Jang (May 4, 2015) Saudi police raided a fake Aab-e-Zamzam factory in Makkah, and arrested three Asian men who were packing regular water in Aab-e-Zamzam bottles.

Prison guards fight over duty at Ayyan’s barrack


Nawa-e-Waqt says (May 4, 2015) guards at Adiala Jail fight regularly over duty at model Ayyan Ali’s barracks. The jail superintendent has started assigning duties by lottery.

Policeman caught harassing former actress 


A drunken police constable in Lahore entered former actress Asma’s car and began to harass her (chhair khani), reports Dunya (May 5, 2015). When she cried for help, the people of the neighborhood gathered and beat him up (durgat bana di) and got him arrested. Police seized a gun and liquor bottles from his car.

Lawmakers’ salaries delayed because of bounced check


According to Jang (May 5, 2015) the salaries of members of National Assembly were delayed by four days after a check sent to the Parliament House bank by the National Assembly Secretariat was bounced.

Stranger in the Senate hall


Reported in Nai Baat (May 6, 2015) a suspicious man entered the Senate hall after telling the security guards that he was a senator. He had not sit down on a seat yet when Senate Chairman Raza Rabbani noticed that he did not belong in the house. He got the man arrested and the sergeant-in-arms on duty suspended.

Scuffle between Karachi municipal officers


Nawa-e-Waqt reports (May 6, 2015) a scuffle (hatha pai) broke out between two grade-19 officers of Karachi Municipal Corporation. One threw a paperweight on the other, which hit his temple and injured him. A verbal quarrel (talkh kalami) continued for a long while.