Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Taliban spokesman Chaudhry Nisar


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Reported in Jasarat, ANP leader Mian Iftikhar says Chaudhry Nisar is a spokesman of the Taliban. He cried for hours in a press conference when the terrorist Hakimullah Mehsud was killed in a drone attack, but he did not utter two words of condolence when the youth Aitzaz was martyred.

Abid Sher Ali belongs in mental hospital


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Quoted in Express, Imran Khan says Abid Sher Ali should immediately be sent to a mental hospital.

Criminal in garb of police


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Hasan Mujtaba says in Jang that Chaudhry Aslam was a criminal in the garb of police. He had his own torture cells. He used to kidnap people, ask for ransom, and kill them in fake encounters if the ransom was not paid.

Modi can only become a tea boy


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Jang quotes Indian National Congress leader Mani Shankar Ayer as saying that Narendra Modi can become a tea boy but not the prime minister of India.

Pakistan will become Karachi 


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Reported in Jang, Maulana Samiul Haq says if an operation against Taliban is launched, the entire Pakistan will become Karachi.

Aamir Liaquat is a joker 


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Mufti Naeem tells Ummat that Aamir Liaquat is a fake religious scholar. He is a joker who makes fun of religious figures in his TV program. He must control himself or the consequences will be dire.

Angry rider sets motorcycle on fire


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Express reports that when a traffic constable fined a motorbike rider, he became so angry that he set his motorcycle on fire.

Musharraf and Veena Malik are acting


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Writing in Nawa-e-Waqt, Taiba Zia says Pervez Musharraf is acting to run away from Pakistan, and Veena Malik is acting to come back to Pakistan.

Nawaz Sharif drove to Attaul Haq Qasmi


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Jang reports that Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif drove his own car and stopped at every traffic signal to meet writer Attaul Haq Qasmi in his office. He spent an hour with him and discussed issues of national and international importance.

Musharraf belongs in mental hospital 


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Writing in Jang, Saleem Safi says Pervez Musharraf should have been admitted to a mental hospital instead of a cardiology centre, because he has engaged a lawyer like Ahmad Raza Kasuri.

Imran Khan is Pakistan’s punishment


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Ayaz Amir writes in Jang that Imran Khan is the punishment for the Pakistani nation’s sins. He is suffering from a chronic disease called ‘foot in mouth’.

Sirajul Haq is a Qalandar


Saeed Aasi writes in Nawa-e-Waqt that all those who say Maulana Sirajul Haq is a tax thief and lives a luxurious life are liars. I met him in a social gathering and was impressed by his simple lifestyle. He is an ascetic (Qalandar).

Too many soldiers in North Waziristan


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Syed Talat Hussain says in Express that the number of army soldiers that we have in North Waziristan are enough to conquer a small country.