SUCH GUP: Hanging by a thread

SUCH GUP: Hanging by a thread

Hanging by a thread

We hear The Man of Steel’s Talented Bro was all set to pull the plug, address the nation, dissolve Parliament and call elections. But he was stopped at the last minute by The Boyz, who wanted him to go and talk to the Eye Am Effed, and clean up the mess left by The Great Khan. Sources also say that The Boyz are keeping Talented Bro’s government hanging by a thread until they decide to get rid of it. One of the reasons for Talented Bro’s uncharacteristically critical comment about The Boyz has to do, they say, with his discovery that “they” did not encourage Al-King and Al-Prince to give the government a financial bail-out. With all these machinations arrayed against it, The Man of Steel is insistent that the government should throw a spanner in The Boyz’s works and go to the people. Let’s see which view prevails.

Chiteau in Gujrat

The Chories’ headstrong heir has built himself a mock chateau (let’s call it a chiteau) in the heart of Gujrat. Rumour has it that all the land around it has been bought up over these last few years — landowners were not allowed to sell to anyone except the heir apparent. And at his preferred rates of course. The palatial home is now surrounded by 25 acres, we hear. The irony is that he lives there quite alone, with his family mostly lodged in Her Majesty’s realm, being HM’s loyal subjects. The pointlessness of it all!

Salacious videos

Apparently, there’s a pack of videos just waiting for an airing. There’s one we hear with the former First Lady doing voodoo in Bunny Gala, burning maunds of meat amidst blood-curdling chants. There’s another with Sheeda Tully, ranting in a cabinet meeting of the former government, warning against confrontation with The Boyz. There’s even an audio, says our mole, of SMQ bemoaning The Great Khan’s preposterous behaviour but expressing helplessness and lack of options. Finally, there’s one of Farah Gogi and Bozo The Clown, in a one on one meeting, talking millions.