The tiny mosquito must qualify as the one that packs the highest ratio of size to nuisance amongst God’s creations.
One can understand the large and majestic lion devouring a human or two, once in a while, but it is impossible to just accept the havoc that a little mosquito unleashes.
The mosquito has absolutely no redeeming qualities. Let’s start with the sound it makes. There is no doubt that if all God’s creatures that have wings decide to form a symphony orchestra, a mosquito will never find a place in it. The buzzing of its larger cousin, the fly, is music compared to the highly irritating sound that the mosquito produces. The low buzz of a single mosquito is a thousand times more troublesome than the barking of a hundred dogs or the chatter of a thousand crows. They say of the notorious Stinger missile that if you have heard it, it is too late. The same can be said of the winged stinger. A buzz means a bite.
The battery-powered mosquito-killing racquet truly sizzles!
More devices have been built by humans to counter this little creature than for all other vermin combined. The most popular invention to keep the mosquitos from biting us is the “machar-dani” or mosquito netting. The problem with this invention is that is an impossible task to support it over the bed. Inevitably is comes undone during the night. Once that happens, the hordes positioned outside the netting rush inside and attack viciously. The famous writer Shafiq-ur-Rehman suggested the following strategy for using the netting. “Open all the flaps and leave it like that for 15 minutes. The mosquitos will rush inside the netting. Now close the flaps, thus trapping them. Put a mattress under the bed and enjoy a sound sleep.”
All manner of chemical devices are available to keep this creature at bay. Some of these devices are so powerful that there is a greater chance that they will kill the human before they kill the mosquito. Examples of such devices are the odour-emitting green coil, and that bottle filled with some kind of oil that is plugged into an electrical outlet. While quite effective, the problem with this device is that if the power goes out in the middle of the night, you will immediately hear the nefarious buzzing and red blobs will appear on the exposed parts of your body. On the other hand, while the green coil does not need electrical power, it is not considered safe for humans in an enclosed space. Other devices include an ultrasonic gadget that creates some kind of high-frequency buzzing that the mosquitos cannot stand and they beat a hasty retreat. Finally, there are all manner of creams, lotions and oils that keep the mosquitos away. Such products are not very popular with those who care about their skin.
I have done the best that I could to rid the world of this winged pest by encouraging my daughter to become a public health professional
While the above-mentioned devices are designed to keep the mosquitos away and not to eliminate them, there are other more serious gadgets that are much less forgiving and go for the kill. Thanks to our friendly neighbour China, a mosquito-killing tennis racquet is available that literally roasts the predator. While being a highly effective killing device, the racquet requires good vision and equally good reflexes. Unfortunately, both of the aforementioned requirements are not met by the folks on the wrong side of fifty. I strongly recommend that the use of this device is taught in all the educational institutions of the country. Notwithstanding these hurdles, the satisfaction that one gets when the full face of the electrically charged racket hits a mosquito is unparalleled. The crisp crackle, the tiny plume of smoke and the roasting smell is highly gratifying. When it is dark, one may also be treated to a small flash of light as the creature is dispatched. At times, when the racquet-face catches more than one enemy in a single swoop, the accompanying fireworks cannot be surpassed by all the riches of the world.
The device comes in many colours and is often accompanied by user instructions (not that one needs any) that are in Chinese-style English and thus make for great fun. One benefit that the user manual does not mention is that the killer racquet can be used to play tennis – albeit with a lighter ball. Some versions of the racket, probably designed for power-starved Pakistan, come with a torch.
The very popular “coil” that looks like a curled cobra and certainly works like one
There is one serious hazard associated with the use of the racquet that should be carefully noted by couples, particularly those whose marital relations are rocky. Some serious mosquito-phobes keep the racquet on their bedside table so that they can attack the offending party (I mean the mosquito) if it turns up during the night. The problem is that with no lights, the target location can only be guessed at. Thus, a frenzied swing can easilyland on the bitter half. For men a blow to the face, head or sensitive parts down below can cause some serious hurt and damage.
A very effective mass killing device that was very popular when I was a boy was Flit. The word was used both as a noun and a verb, as in “put some oil in the flit” (noun) or “flit the room” (verb). The flit was a pump-action device with a can of mosquito-killing oil at one end and a plunger at the other. The downside of the device was that you could not sit at the venue of the attack for many hours due to the poisonous fumes produced.
While the diseases caused by the mosquito (malaria, dengue, chikungunya) can kill, the non-fatal itching following a bite is more soul destroying. Unlike death that can occur only once, the day in and day out suffering due to these bites can, mentally and emotionally, destroy even the hardiest. Since moving back to Pakistan after nearly 35 years abroad, I have weathered the traffic, dust, heat, TV talk shows and garbage with equanimity, but I have not reconciled myself to this little bloodsucking pest. Following a mosquito attack I am strongly tempted to call my travel agent for a one-way ticket to Canada.
While a mosquito attack on any part of the body is aggravating, God have mercy on you if you are struck where the skin in thicker (the sole of the foot or the palm). You can scratch till you bleed but the itch never goes away.
I have done the best that I could to rid the world of this winged pest by encouraging my daughter to become a public health professional.Since graduating from the world’s leading anti-mosquito institution, the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, she has been waging war on this menace in various parts of Africa. It is not an easy war by any means: I just got a message from her from Mali, where she is on a business trip: that she is not feeling well. I hope this is not the revenge of the mosquitoes.
