Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Well, meray aziz humwatno, I am finally in London. Thanks God. In my behind, Imran Khan is having a meltdawn. “Haw come Nawaz Sharif got away? Who sent him away?” etc. He is full of anxiety. He’s scared of shadows.

I believe he took a tour of a mental hospital the other day. He said to the Medical Superintendent, “I’m the Prime Minister, you know”. He replied, “of course you are, sir, just come this way.”

My spy in Bunny Gala says Imran has sleeplass nights. Yesterday he found him with swollen eyes. He told my spy, “I couldn’t sleep all night because I had a weird dream. I was a diver and went twenty feet below sea level. I saw another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. I went down a further ten feet, and the guy joined me a minute later. I took out a waterproof pad and pencil and wrote, ‘how are you able to stay this deep without equipment?’ The man took my pad and pencil and wrote, ‘I’m drowning, stupid!’ Then I woke up in a cold sweat.”

Imran also told a journalist that he is so disappointed that the whole of Pakistan is disappointed with him. Apparently, he emitted cry of pain and exclamated, “what has HAPPENED to Pakistanis, who gave me such a great mandate only a year and half ago?” The journalist said, “it’s because of record unemployment”. To this Imran replied, “I can feel their pain. I too haven’t had work all this year and a half. Someone else does the work, I just follow orders.”

And then, horrors of horrors, same journalist reminded Imran of me. I am his worst obsession these days. Journalist told him, “Sirjeeee! Someone has pulled a fast one on you. Nawaz has seen doctors in London and his favourite therapist. The therapist told him that if he wants to feel great, he has to finish what he starts. So Nawaz finished a triple cheeseburger meal and a 2 pounder chocolate fudge cake, and he says he feels better already, Sirjeeeee!”